#please read the last sentence too beyond NO.7 :<< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[earthtooz]

hello! i love your works so much everything you write is perfect! i stopped writing more than a year ago but reading your works inspired me to write again 😊 it’s crazy how we are the same age but our level of writing is completely different, yours blew my mind 🤯🤯🤯 (in a good way!!!!!) i was wondering if you could give me some tips to improve my writing as i feel like i’m lacking in many departments (if you’re comfortable in doing so, ofc!) thank you! ❤️❤️❤️

this ask was send march 5th, and i'm happy to report that four months later, for the first time in a while, i think i'm finally at a point in my writing where i'm confident giving out tips that are not generic and stock standard. i do not know if anon is going to ever see this, but i hope you do, and i hope that you're still as inspired to write as you were when you sent this :) a lot can happen in four months!!

i'm just going to get straight into it. you'll find that the further you go, the more... catered the advice might be to you (it's long, and maybe a bit rambly, but i hope it’s useful in some sort of way 🥲)

# ONE - THE MOST BASICS:

the most DEVASTATING thing you can do for your writing is not have a purpose for each scene or snippet you write. give your scenes a point, don't let them be just images that you sit on the document to take up space! are you trying to prove that character x oc's relationship is growing? are you trying to show that it's breaking apart? are you trying to set up the character as someone who's beginning to fall in love and hates it? give everything a purpose. every word must be linked to your intention.

you know what they say about chekhov's gun, if you are going to mention some little thing, give it a purpose later! you mention reader likes sweaters? let character give them a sweater! this works in many-a-ways.

this all comes down to the planning, which i would give tips on, but i'm writing this part too late. i'm also trying to keep this first part brief because this is a very long post.

for english speakers, the second most devastating thing is to not know your grammar LOL (i cannot criticise those who speak another language as their first! kudos to you, keep doing what you're doing.)

# TWO - FIND YOUR STYLE: easier said than done, but it's an essential part of any art. writing takes time, and only time will evolve your skill and therefore, your style. if you do not like what you write off the bat and believe you are 'lacking' in some departments (no such thing, there is room to improve instead of being 'incapable' of doing something), then i always turn to some of my favourite authors, whether they are published or another fanfiction writer, turn to them and study them. DO NOT PLAGIARISE, just try and emulate what you see from their works and put them into your works, with your own sense of individual style.

i have my list of esteemed tumblr writings that i look up to, as well as writers that i adore. ocean vuong will always be one of my favourite writers, i listen to him frequently when i am stumped by my own writibg. he has this sort of creative aura that drips of his own idiosyncrasy that inspires me every time i try to listen to him, him just speaking calms and invigorates me so much.

so yeah, find your writer, and learn from them :)

# THREE - THE 'DEPARTMENTS': the departments that i have included are:

characterisation

dialogue

description and artistic expression (this one is long, bear with me.)

like i said earlier, there are indeed departments are writing that we all have room to improve in. i will talk about the few that i might find specific to fanfic writing because i am nothing like an actual author :,)

characterisation: a fickle little thing T^T the worst thing ever. to characterise properly means you know the character like it's your own, but in fanfiction that's just truly not possible :,) so i can try and give you my own tips on how i deal with characterisation.

listen to the english dub (or your first language) - DON'T CRUCIFY ME. PLEASE. BUT LET ME SPEAK. for my fellow fluent english speakers, listening to a dub in a language we do not understand can only go so far in the way we understand a character. when listening to english, we hear the intricate ways of their tone and personalities work, and what kind of dialogue best flows with them (toji fushiguro is excluded from this. never listen to that man's english dub.). when i was writing for bakugou- he's not the hardest character to understand, but with the help of the english dub, the dialogue that i wrote for him flowed a lot easier than if i had just tried to internalise his jp dub. he's gruff, and rude, and cocky, and his english va captures that in quite an adorable way! ofc you can never just ignore the original, the original is there to provide you the blueprint, but sometimes a little help explaining the blueprint goes a long way !!

characterisation can also be perfected through the subtle changes in dialogue that you see. a big part of character is how they talk, and even just the subtlest of changes can go far. let me start with the example "this is a really bad idea." if i were writing itoshi rin, then i would change the sentence fit to his speech and embody how he'd actually react to a 'bad idea'. he's curt, doesn't say more than necessary, and unashamed to be cold so he'd probably just say "this is stupid." before walking away LMAOO if i were writing someone like gojo, then the sentence also changes too. he doesn't mind talking and adding more to his point, so i would write something like: "you sure? this doesn't seem like the brightest idea." and if i'm really trying to sell a romantic relationship, i'd add a 'sweetheart' there or something.

dialogue: this is a personalised experience, so as is everything in writing. i have been complimented on my flow and dialogue a lot of the time but in truth, i am merely having a conversation with myself in my head. i try to become the character i am writing about and then i just chat with myself :3 it can be that simple. dialogue does not need to be something you over-complicate, i am my own, ethical character.ai.

description and artistic expression: look, i can't say much on this one except that you're all on your own. i am still trying to perfect my own skills in this department because this is perhaps one of my most vexing parts of writing. i truly am just not... as poetic and imaginative as i want my words to be, but i am trying and i am improving.

my biggest tip regarding description and artistry is: if the reader can imagine it, you don't need to write it. you don't need to fill in the gaps with actual scenes, if your characters are walking through the park as a filler for getting from destination A to B, then that park scene does not need to be as descriptive as A or B. a mere 'you took a shortcut through the park' will suffice. or even better, just go straight from A to B.

say my 'A' scene is starting at a cafe, and my 'B' scene is going to the mall, you could just go 'calling for the waitress to get the bill, you then find yourself in the mall within 15 minutes'. spend time on the gaps that require a bridge to cross, not the gaps that you can merely step over.

these kind of things appear in your planning and admittedly, i don't even plan ROFLLL but i have primary scenes that i have sketched out which i sometimes add to. like spider webs, when going from one thread to another, sometimes the journey is not all that important if it does nothing for your plot.

again, i find inspiration in a lot of the writers i look up to. a recurring motif is something i love adding, whether that be dialogue or a recurring item that symbolises something (like the hairband in between love and lies - a nagi fic). techniques like motifs or an extended metaphor add a lot of depth in your writing that you can't find otherwise. you can also omit going too over the board with reader's emotions too, or just the character's. if it's obvious that they are angry, sad, happy, you don't need to go too far in detail about said emotions.

another so crucial thing is to take note of the things you see in real life and apply it in fiction. the most mundane of things you are doing can have beauty in words.

are you at the beach? why don't you take a look around. tell me about the people that sit on towels, minding their own business. tell me about the way the sun sits high in the sky, unforgiving and burning before going into the main plot.

are you sitting on a bench, killing time? tell me about the breeze you feel, or perhaps the heat that overwhelms you. tell me about what you hear- bikes, children laughing, whilst you're waiting for your date to show up- all of these minute things, so long as you don't go overboard, will matter a lot to the imagination of the reader!

# FOUR: TAKE CARE OF AND LOVE WHAT YOU WRITE writing will always be hard :,) not a single draft goes by where i do not find inconsistencies and flaws, but i love them all the same. i love the drafts that i read over once and posted and i also love the drafts that i poured blood, sweat, and tears into. neither of them are more special to me because they were all born from a simple idea.

to look back on what you wrote and going 'i can do this better now' is beautiful, no? i love the end product for what i learnt on the way.

i know me giving this advice is kinda hypocritical because you'll find me going 'i hate this' in the tags, and you can choose to believe me or not, but i adore all of my stories the same. some of them i just hate that i couldn't give them the attention and love that they deserved, which shows through in the end quality. not that you guys seem to care, it's all in my head sometimes lMFAO.

# FIVE - KEEP THE POV CONSISTENT: now we are getting to the tips that i've been learning myself recently. how funny is it that i learnt this whilst reading from a writer that i so admire?

whilst reading a long fic, i noticed that the flow is satisfying because there was no swap of perspectives. the character was in the focus the whole time and the reader was the reactor, the catalyst being the character's actions and internal dialogue. on the other hand, the reader's thoughts and feelings being in the spotlight can also be significant.

i had always known that keeping the pov consistent would influence your writing, but i never knew how much.

which pov you might want to choose is all intuitive. writing is intuitive- every other tip that i have revealed is all intuitive and i'll cover more of this later. more importantly right now, which perspective you want to execute is all on you, and no one else. if you know your character, your storyline, and your skills, you will simply know how the story shall go. it is just as powerful to write it from reader's pov as it is the character's because it comes from your knowledge and authority as the writer!

# SIX - LEAVE THE COMFORT ZONE: this kind of returns to tip four. sometimes the only way to evolve is to do something we are bad at and that advice applies to writing too. writing is a path set by previous writers but it is not one that we have to follow all the time, why take a shortcut when the long way is prettier, and more rewarding? your journey of improvement is dependent on what you realise and give yourself opportunities to improve in.

for example, recently i have been trying to improve the depth of my descriptions and- don't laugh, but the way i've been doing so is as followed:

i input myself into the scenario, i empathise with the characters within the scene and i describe it. maybe it's emotional and the character can't look you in the eye because they don't have the heart to, not when their chest is filled with a smoke that is so unbearable that all they can focus on is not turning to ashes. maybe it's a happy scene and all you can look at is the character. maybe it's confronting, and the only thing you can think about is defending yourself against their clenched fists that will never actually hurt you, but you know damn well can break your walls in one swing. leave the comfort zone, write new au's and new dialogue pieces, write new metaphors and similes and use rhyme, listing, repetition- just try something new every time and let it be meaningful to the story.

# SEVEN - GIVE YOURSELF TIME. like the growth of your muscles or the mobility of your limbs, or the way your hands flow along the canvas or keyboard, writing is a skill that can only be improved with time. fanfic writing is intuitive and completely reliant on your own tastes.

i can sit here, speak for ages about writing, but the only way you can learn is to do. i have people who see what i do and praise me for being one of their favourite writers, and as honoured as i am every time, i am merely born from the six years i have put into this craft, as well as the hours i put into writing and planning what they see. if you could see the behind the scenes, you would go 'what the fuck am i looking at' LMFAOO.

when i write and then i reread and i know what it is missing, but i cannot speak about this like it is easy, like i have not spent the past few years of my life consistently writing for various characters and growing along the way. to be fair, you don't need to take six years to get good at writing, it can be a very smooth process! i don't think i was the brightest cookie at 12 ngl but i took my characters and rewrote them into different scenarios and here i am today, at 18 and (marginally) better.

as long as the urge is there, worship it, take the step and write. then post, if that is a step you want to partake in. simple as that :)

that's all for now! sorry this is so long, now that you've reached the end, i just wanted to say that i have no authority over what you produce and how you do it. these are simply just things i've learned along the way and i hope they can provide you some sort of revelation.

[rileyglas]

The List ~Pt. 2 - Catalyst~

Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) x Reader

Summary: You make your way to the Hazbin Hotel and quickly realize keeping to your list and helping the sinners might be more difficult than planned.

Themes: The usual angst, mystery (Alastor), sassiness, cursing, fluff, eventual smut (it's coming, pun intended), actual plot, slow burn, and of course 18+, keeping these chapters shorter for easier reading

1.3k Words

Part 1 Part 2 (You're on it!) Part 3 Part 4 Part 5  Part 6 Part 7 Part 7.A Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

**sentences in italics are internal thoughts of the reader

"Please Carmilla, I really don't think you understand what this hotel could mean for--"

Carmilla raises her hand to cut you off. "I have too much going on - to PREPARE for - to entertain this 'redemption hotel'. If you wish to leave my safety so be it but I will not waste my time on such ludicrous ideas." Her words were sharp and concise. She was right. With extermination day coming sooner than expected she had plans to make and orders to fill. After some silence she looks up from her desk, softening when she sees the slight hurt in your eyes.

Taking a deep breath she walks over to you, grabbing your shoulders with a light squeeze. “You’ve learned so much and are so much wiser beyond your years here. I know how much this ‘redemption arc’ means to you even if I don’t fully support or understand it myself.” Her grip tightened as she sighed, carefully choosing her next words. “I need you to realize that I won’t be able to help you…to protect you…if you choose to go to that hotel. Are you ready to close our deal over the slightest possibility that little Morningstar girl is right?” Carmilla would never admit that she took a liking to you. If anyone asked, you were just there out of convenience as you never gave her much hassle. This gentle warning was her way of saying she cared about you - though neither of you would ever say such things out loud. Rule #3 Never bring anyone too close.

The lump in your throat grew as you fought off the tears trying to pool in your eyes. She knew the answer already. Just the idea of a hotel to redeem sinners went hand in hand with what you did for the souls you collected. Helping lost souls? Who knew you shared the same hopes and dreams as the Princess of Hell itself.

“I will always be grateful for what you’ve done for me Ms. Carmine. I believe our deal is done.” A bright light flashes between you and Carmilla. The thin pink thread tying the two of you together by the wrist fades in, snaps, then fades out of existence. “Good luck out there…you’re going to need it Ms. ‘Saving Grace’.” Carmilla jabs. You share a small smile with each other before she sees you out of her office.

Walking up to the hotel you were a bundle of nerves. Not out of worry ok maybe a little but pure excitement, mentally rehearsing what you were going to say. “Hey you know that Saving Grace Overlord everyone is curious about? Welp that’s me and I’m here to help!” Rule #2 Never tell a soul what (or how much) power you have. You laugh to yourself knowing damn well that isn’t the way to go. No, you’ll need to play the part of a sinner looking for redemption. But you are a sinner looking for redemption!

You shake your head at the thought. You’re here to help Lucifer’s daughter not seek your own salvation. Taking a deep breath, you make the last few strides to the font of the hotel. The window in the door was clean enough for you to catch sight of your reflection. The walk from Carmilla’s slightly disheveled your usual cleanly pressed outfit. You adjust your black button-down shirt, fixing the sleeves so they're nicely rolled to the elbow and the shirt tail is gently tucked into your slacks. Hair slicked back into a high bun - damn these fly aways, let me just ----

The front door flies open and you’re suddenly nose to nose – or rather nose to chest – with the Princess of Hell.

"Oh shit! Wasn’t expecting someone to be standing there! Hi hello -welcome!! Are you here to check in?!" she says quickly recovering from the surprise.

You spend the next few hours with Charlie on a tour. The hotel was run down but just listening to her speak so passionately made you see all the extraordinary potential. You meet the other residents - the bartender, the maid, some snake, and the...uh spider angel thing? Fuck names are hard. There was so much information flying at you, everything was blurring together. With this being your new home you were sure to get a better understanding of who's who and names. Nothing to worry yourself with tonight.

Charlie and her girlfriend - Valley? No, Maggie? - lead you to your room. "And here is your new hopefully temporary home! Let us know if you need anything." Charlie wraps you into a hug that knocks the breath out of you. "Thanks so much" is about all you can get out as you try to regain the air you lost. You place your hand on the doorknob when a high pitch ringing and static hit your ears. Freezing in place you try to pinpoint where the noise is coming from. Something (or someone) has materialized behind you with a familiar voice booming through the hall -

"Ahhh a new resident. Apologies I wasn't available for the initial introductions. The name’s Alastor, quite the pleasure!"

In turning abruptly to face the demon you not so gracefully fall against your door. Jesus H Christ – Get your shit together!

"No need to be so jumpy here my dear. This hotel is protected QUITE well if I do say so myself. You don't have to worry about any dangerous sinners here." There’s that unhinged smile. It registers that this is the same charming Overlord who tried to stare into your soul from the last meeting. Ironic how such ominous creature is trying to convince you of safety.

Does he recognize me? He has such a way of looking right into my --- “Ah yes...sorry! Bad habit from being in the streets for so long. Nice to meet you, Alastor. I'm [Y/N]. Are you also here for redemption?" You already knew the answer but best to play stupid. No use in stirring suspicion less than a day into your stay.

"Oh my no. I'm just here for my own amusement and to help Charlie as needed." He hummed shifting his (is that a microphone?) cane from one hand to the other. The static continued in your ears as his half-lidded eyes studied your face. You were far from intimidated, but it was clear he was hiding more power than you initially thought.

"Well, that's very kind of you and it has been such a delight, but it is getting late. I will see you around Mr. Alastor." The sooner this transaction is over, the better. His eyes were starting to bore into you as if he was trying to find any possible flaw he could prey on.

He breaks his gaze to lean into your ear, lips practically grazing your skin. His ever so subtle cologne floods your senses, making little butterflies form in your stomach. Of course such a devious man would be so enticing. Trying not to flinch, you hold your ground. You feared no one or so you told yourself. Rule #4 Never let your weaknesses show.

“Yes, you will be seeing quite a bit of me my dear. And please....just Alastor……for now." he purred into your ear before melting into a shadow - gone as quickly as he appeared. A cool breeze taking over where his hot breath was.

You finally released the air you didn’t realize you were holding in as the static faded from your ears. Quickly getting inside your room you melt to your knees as your head whirls. What the fuck was that about? Was I ATTRACTED to that? Six years in hell and a DEMON OVERLORD makes me weak? That cannot happen again.

Things may be a lot harder than expected with Alastor making his mark on the hotel, but you’re not going to let him stop you. Rule #1 Never trust another Overlord.

[myheartalivewrites]

Seven A Bunch of Sentences Sunday

Weirdly quiet around here tonight, isn’t it? I don’t think I’ve seen any Sunday sentences posts so far, so I’ll kick things off and tag a bunch of people at the bottom.

Since we're nearly done with Foxden Park, I thought I'd share some (I won't even pretend it's seven) sentences from the last two chapters. Little spoiler? Chapter 8 is Day 7 (and beyond) and titled 'Seek again', and the epilogue, 'Home'.

Here are a few sentences from Chapter 8 (in which June and Nora try and fail to sort Alex out):

He glares at Nora. “What did you say?” he hisses. June steps between them. “She didn’t have to say anything, you nitwit. I have eyes, and so do the two of you, except you were only using them to look at each other. ‘Going to show Mr. Claremont-Diaz the wheat fields’ my ass.” “I—okay, fine. But can we talk about this later? I’ve got to find Henry now. Do you know where he is?” A hesitant look passes between the two of them.

Aaaand I was going to do some from the epilogue too, but it's all too spoilery, so here's one tiny snippet:

“You, love of my life, are a dirty-minded fucker.”

Share if you like @cha-melodius @thesleepyskipper @porcelainmortal @firenati0n @whimsymanaged (if you're reading this, go to bed!)

@tintagel-or-cockleshells @caterpills @faketrex @maxbegone @alasse9

@rmd-writes @welcometololaland @duchessdepolignaca03 @blueeyedgrlwrites @piratefalls

@stereopticons @indestructibleheart @kiwiana-writes @ninzied I know it's definitely already Monday for some of you but Monday sentences are good too. Aaand anyone else who fancies sharing and tagging me, please do!

[griseldabanks]

1, 3, 7, 8, 11, 13-16, and 24-29 for the fic-writer's ask game, please?

the last sentence you wrote

"I have a feeling you're going to learn more about me than you ever wanted to know."

3. how you feel about your current WIP

I've got a lot of WIPs right now, but the one I kind of consider my "main" one right now is a chapter (or maybe two?) for my Captain America fic Take Me Beyond. I have to confess I'm a little self-conscious about it right now, because it's full of romantic fluff, and goes in a direction I've never really written before, so I'm kind of terrified of how it will turn out and how it will be received. So it's probably a good thing that for now it remains locked away from the world, and only I know what I scribble in the secret watches of the night :P

7. your preferred writing fonts

Already answered this one - Times New Roman, because it's the default and I can't be bothered. Though...actually, I'm writing my main WIP on Google Docs, and the default there is Arial, and I keep it that way.

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you’d write one for…

You know, I think I'd go for a sequel to my Captain America fic "Honey, I've Been There." I actually had some thoughts of where I would take that AU before Take Me In fell into my lap and completely took over my life. "Honey, I've Been There" was all about Bucky's relationship with Steve's daughter, Juliet, so I was thinking of doing another fic focusing on Bucky's relationship with Steve's son, Jimmy. It would be a bit later, when Jimmy is a teenager and starts getting in trouble at school, and Bucky has to be the first one to give him a talking-to because his parents are off doing superhero stuff. That idea is still floating around in my head, though admittedly having written more than 350k words about Steve with a different son has kind of taken the wind out of that idea's sails.

11. a WIP you’d like to finish someday

You know what? I'd really like to get back to working on the Jak & Daxter novelization I was working on before Captain America barged into my life and completely derailed everything I was working on in 2016. I managed to write eight chapters (plus a prologue) of that novelization before I set it aside, and while the way I was approaching it was probably too game-y and I'd need to start over from scratch anyway because my writing is so much improved, it's still such a good story. I've been slowly replaying the games recently, and remembering all the things I wanted to do with that novelization. The way I wanted to flesh out the characters and relationships, the headcanons I wanted to insert because my ideas are better than theirs. One of these days I'll get back to it. One of these days.

13. a fandom you’re thinking about writing for

Actually, just today I was thinking about writing something for the anime Buddy Daddies. I'm watching it for the third time (first time in the dub), and it's just...it's so good. I want more of such great characters. And the fandom needs more content for them that does not ship Kazuki and Rei :/ And I also long for a crossover with Captain America, so if I ever figure out a good way to do that, you can bet you'll see some!

14. where do you get your inspiration?

Wow, such a broad question. I guess sometimes it's just an interesting concept that unfolds into an actual story, like "What if Sherlock is blinded and has to do his deductions without being able to see?" But I guess most of the time, the inspiration for the stories I write come from the stories I read. If you were to put up a list of all the fics I've read against my faves list, you could probably draw lines connecting the ideas I got from which fics inspired them.

15. favorite weather for writing

I was thinking about it, and I actually don't think the weather really influences my writing one way or another. That might be partly because a lot of my writing gets done in the evening, when it's too dark to see the weather anyway. Necessity and a lack of time has meant that I can't worry about writing things in the wrong season, either. If it's August and I'm melting but the next scene I need to write requires the characters to snuggle up under a blanket in front of a fire, too bad!

16. favorite place to write

Pretty much the only place I write is on my computer at my desk.

24. how do you recharge when you’re not feeling creative?

If we are to dip our buckets into the well of creativity, we must first fill the well - by reading, watching, reading, playing, reading, talking, and reading. I'm also trying to learn the value of rest. Yes, it's important to cultivate a discipline of regular writing, but it's also important to not push yourself to the breaking point.

25. besides writing, what are your other hobbies?

Reading, if you couldn't guess. Playing video games (particularly ones with good stories). I dabble a little bit in video editing, and I've recently felt the urge to get back into cross-stitch. I sewed a couple of cross-stitch designs when I was a teenager, and it was a lot of fun (and not as daunting as other kinds of sewing, lol).

26. are you able to write with other people around?

It's actually kind of hard for me to do that ^^' It was like that for me with school, too; in college, I was never the kind of person who thrived with study parties or going to coffee shops to study. It's the same with writing; I need a minimum of distractions. Also, if other people are around, with a few exceptions, I feel like I'm going to be rude if I have my earbuds in and then they try to talk to me. So the only way I can write around other people is if there's that unspoken understanding that we're going to introvert together.

27. your favorite part of the writing process

I love it when I've thought through a scene and know what I need to write, and then I finally get a chance to sit down and find out how it's going to come out on the paper. It might not come out exactly the way I daydreamed it to myself while falling asleep, but that's the fun part!

28. your least favorite part of the writing process

Honestly? Research. Sometimes you can go down fascinating rabbit trails that suck you in, and sometimes "research" actually just means "rewatching/rereading the source material you already love to look for a detail," and that's always fun. Maybe I've just been burned by all the dull and hard-to-understand legal jargon I've had to look up for a certain project of mine, but a lot of times when I realize I need to research something to figure out how a scene is going to work, I just get this sinking feeling and it's really hard to motivate myself to do it. Feels too much like school. Please just download the information to my brain so I can get on with writing the story that we actually care about.

29. how easy is it for you to come up with titles?

UUUUUGHGHGHG, SOOOOOOOO HAAAAAAAAAARD DX I never know what to call anything, so with a very few exceptions, my titles will generally end up either some generic word, or a line from a song that feels appropriate.

Fic Writer Ask Game

[rcksmith]

Lust — Kaz Brekker

Gif by @kitsyoung

Request: “Hey. I really like your writing and I was wondering if you would consider writing a Kaz piece with the smut prompts 76, 1 & 33. Obviously with your au rules. If it’s too much I completely understand tho”

“7, 17, 36, and 73 from the smut list for Kaz Brekker please? If not, no worries! 💖 Thank you!”

“Holy shit that last kaz brekker smut- AMAZING. Was wondering if you could write another smut with smut prompt #6? Of course if this bothers you just ignore it. Thank you so much 🥰”

Smut prompts:

1. “You look so good with my hand wrapped around your throat.”

6. “Do you think of me when you touch yourself?”

7. “The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.”

17. “after that little stunt? you’re not getting off that easy”

33. “Maybe I should get you a collar so you don’t forget who you belong to.”

36. "If I have to pull over, you won’t be able to walk for the next week.“

73. “You know, you look real pretty when you cry.”

76. “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll take very good care of you.”

Couple: Kaz Brekker/ Fem!Reader

Warnings: swearing, explicit smut, dirty thoughts, dirty talk, nsfw, jealous, mention of fight.

Word count: 5k

A/N: All smut requests for Kaz must follow these rules.

Thank you so much for the requests and for all affection 💖 I decided to compile these requests, since they were the same central plot. I added all the elements that were asked for individually, and made sure that all ideas were respected and written down. I hope you like it and good reading.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

— — — — —

There is a theory that always, somewhere, there will be a person capable of making you lose your breath, and your reasoning, whenever he appears on the scene. Someone who robs you of your breath, your heartbeat, your ability to think clearly and your control to keep your hands not shaking.

And Kaz Brekker would always be that person for you.

From the first time you laid eyes on him, it's been a feeling of dying and going to heaven. Except that Heaven was, in reality, a hot, burning hell. Where your greatest punishment was being forced to watch his tall figure, who exuded masculinity by every inch, walking in front of you like a Renaissance painting very superb.

Nothing that Van Gogh, Da Vinci, and Picasso created has bordered on the personification of beauty that he was.

Kaz was beautiful in a very mysterious, dangerous and chilling way. You would describe his aura as the height of midnight in an enigmatic city, his hair the color of the core of sin and his features as lines that the god Ares would have drawn. Everything about him reeked of the fog of suspense stories, with a touch of lust.

All the looks he directed at you were caustic, flickering and intense as a candle flame, reverberating through your veins like angry eels and always make the room feeling charged with electricity, like the ground after the fall of a lightning. Everything between the two of you seemed to be filled with something fiery and arcane. From the gazes, the rubbing of shoulders, the times when the skins touched. Everything was a compilation of sensations that make you catch your breath whenever Kaz Brekker appeared.

He was your kryptonite. In all senses.

And that was exasperating in the extreme, at staggering levels. You felt your center of your sex vibrate whenever he directed you that voice whit baritone intonation and predatory looks, whenever the button-down shirts were tight enough for you to revel in the contours of his body, or sometimes when he wore the cane to signal or stopper something. This was the worst of them. His cane.

Have you lost count of how many times Kaz stopped you as counting money, by putting the tip of the cane over your hands, or stopped you from going somewhere by blocking your path with the cane, lifting the object horizontally in front of your belly. And every time you felt your legs tremble, your breath fade and a very dirty part of your brain whisper that you wanted him to use that object in you in more fun ways.

Your body was so responsive that there were times when you knew, with every fiber of your soul, that Kaz was able to read the paths in which your thoughts wandered. He lowered his gaze to you, in that breathless connection that promised to contain the most nefarious paths of sin, and maliciously curved the left corner of his lips in an arrogant, oblique expression. At such times, you could feel in your soul the words he did not say:

I know the perverted things that you are thinking.

And the truth was, he really knew. Kaz memorized every change in your breathing, every blush on your cheeks, every trembling of your hands, every your trembling look whit a frightened girl who had been caught thinking of something impure. He knew how your body was responsive, needy. And he himself had to control himself not to push you over the desk in his office and fuck you like an aggressive animal, bringing all your perverted thoughts to life.

It wasn't his physical reactions that kept him from taking action, but an even more visseral reaction than the pulsing desire he felt for you. Mine. The primal, determined, burning sensation of possession. That it ran through his veins like hot, bubbling lava. The desire was familiar, but this statement, not. Like the jealousy he felt for you, he quickly recognized the danger he was in.

If Kaz touched you…he knew he would never be able to let you go.

Mine. A statement that resonated spontaneously whenever he saw you, a testament to the reactions the two of you triggered in each other. However, not even the awareness of the dangerous game that was between you was able to dispel the climate of provocative sensuality that pulsed in the places whenever the two of you were together.

It was like playing with a powerful drug. One slip and he would be addicted forever.

On days like this, when Kaz had just come out of an exasperating meeting with Peka, a businessman and mobster who was always looking for ways to try and bring Kaz down, his already bad temper turned to terrible. He felt compelled to break something, drink a whole bottle of the best English whiskey in that club, and punch someone. Kaz felt the anger pulse through his veins, in a pure and perfect way.

He left the office, turning off his cell phone so he wouldn't be disturbed and descending the stairs to the center of his Crow Club, mind buzzing and anger seeping in his blood. He needed to unwind, maybe get into the car and head home. Maybe actually drink that whiskey bottle. Maybe both.

Kaz was about to take another step down, running a gloved hand through his hair to get it out of his eyes, when his gaze met your figure. And that was when the already terrible temper rose to the very badly.

Normally, a vision like that would have just bothered him, a compulsion to do something. But that day, Kaz was at the height of his angriest feelings. And seeing you, bold as a goddess in that little black dress, next to Jesper at the gambling table and flirting with a guy to your left, did things with every last bit of patience and self-control he had.

His eyes never left you as he took another step, running his hand through his hair again to contain the unruly strands. You were laughing, downing another drink and placing a card on the table. You turn back to the man to your left, your eyelashes fluttered gracefully in a promise to allow him to guide your rein tonight.

But there would be no goddamn rein for that fucking guy to guide.

Kaz gripped his cane tightly, descending the other short stairs and advancing toward your with dangerous, determined, and angry steps.

"...in this part of the year, criminal law cases drop a lot." The damn guy was telling you, his boring blond hair falling over his blue eyes in a way Kaz found annoying.

To fucking hell with that blond-haired Dande.

“Y/n, Jesper!” Kaz tapped the end of his cane on the table, stopping the cards under the polished wooden end.

Everyone at the table looked at him startled, their actions frozen. He saw you swallow hard, a soft tremor sigh in your shoulders.

Good!

“Shouldn't you be at the door?” Kaz turned to Jesper, his eyes sparks with annoyance.

“Right now, Boss.” He stood up, giving you a strained smile and heading towards the door.

“Kaz…” You started, voice softly intoxicated.

You knew you weren't supposed to be at the gambling table, let alone so late at night and drunk, even if Jesper was by your side. You had the ability to win every play, in any game, and that ended up not only driving the others away, but leaving the men, already drunk and irrational, aggressive and with an extremely bruised ego. And they almost always wanted to retaliate physically. As much as there were security guards and cameras everywhere to keep something bad from happening, Kaz couldn't stand the thought of someone hurting you. Not even blinking insultingly in your direction.

He sent you an icy, sharp, steady look. A clear warning for you to stop there any excuse you were about to give. To be careful with the next words you would say. You swallowed hard, looking away and getting up from the table. Slightly wobbly from the drink, you fished your coat from the chair next to you, giving a strained, apologetic smile to the guy you'd been flirting with so far.

“I better go home and call an uber and…” You started, but Kaz cut your sentence.

“I'll driver you.”

His tone exuded annoyance and impatience, giving no opening to any objections, demonstrating that he was in no mood for games. Much less defiance of his orders. You knew him too well to recognize that that night had pulled his nerves beyond what he could handle, the strain and irritation in his eyes told you something had happened beyond what you knew. His jaw, straight and strong as glass, was clenched tightly, his night-colored hair was disheveled in an overwhelmingly attractive way, and his black robes sinfully marred every line of his body.

You should have become wary of the dangerous energy that he exuded through every pore at that moment. However, to your inebriated and excited brain, Kaz Brekker has never looked so fucking hot! Your underbelly vibrated in response to the personification of sin that Kaz was, your heart racing at alarming levels as you followed him out, walking over to his car.

Like every piece of Brekker's clothing, his car was sleek black, with big black wheels, tinted glass and dark leather seats. Hades' chariot. You felt your breath catch when Kaz opened the passenger door for you, his eyes avoiding yours, his jaw still clenched and dangerous energy exhaling through every fiber of his tall, lean body.

Holy Mother of God, this man was a perdition!

Kaz contained an instinctive desire to go back inside and tell that aspiring Dande that you weren't available. Instead, he closed the door when you got in and turned around in the car, closing his own and squeezing the steering wheel harder than he would have liked.

Midnight height light streamed in through the darkened car windows and gently illuminated the curve of your cheek, highlighting your skin that Kaz might have named the color of the gods. So much attention was too seductive. Emotions and reactions still bubbled through each his vein like scandant water, mingling with months of frustrated desires and burning sexual tension.

At that moment, jealousy laced him. Mine. Amazing and at the same time propelled by dangerous strength, Kaz tried to trap that feeling back into the dungeon of his soul. He controlled his fury, yet he couldn't completely tame. Annoyance turned to anger. Starting driving the car forward, Kaz tried to think of anything but how you looked like the Goddess Aphrodite on that dark bench. Splendid as a heat ray in a winter day.

“Kaz…” You started, that gentle, repentant tone that stirred every spark in his soul.

He hated how his name on your lips sounded so sensual, so right and so delicious. He would give everything he had to hear you moan his name.

“Don't start” he warned, now not because of latent annoyance, but because he didn't know if he could stop himself if he heard your voice.

However, you didn't make things any easier for him.

"You don't have to be so angry." You go "I wasn't even using all my intellect on the game, I wasn't trying to win."

Kaz didn't even know if that was the core of the problem anymore. Was he angry that you went to a table where it was dangerous? Yes. But the waters were much deeper than that, much more dangerous. The way your smile, sweet and sensual, was directed at that guy, reeled in Kaz's mind, impregnated with the plague. He felt the blood burn in his veins just remembering how melted you looked for that man. And as much as he couldn't blame you, because you were free and single, the primal, irrational part of him screamed so much louder now.

Mine.

“This does not matter anymore.” It was the only thing he managed to say, the very sensations drowning him.

“And it wasn't even that dangerous.” But unlike him, you were obliterating the burning emotions that Kaz exuded. “There were only a few players drunker than a door, and Jesper was on my side, and also James, who was very charming and...”

Kaz almost lost direction, making the car bounce smoothly. He staked his eyes at you, puzzled and bubbling.

“James?”

“Yeah, the blond guy who…”

"I don't want to know, Y/n." He cut you off "I don't want to hear about the guys you allow to drool around you like mangy dogs."

The distilled rage was impossible to contain, and before Kaz knew it, the words were out. He turned forward again, his hands tighter on the steering wheel.

“Wait…” Your tone was slightly smug, and the way you rubbed one thigh against the other was impossible for Kaz to miss.

The grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“You are jealous?” Your intonation dropped to a low, sensual, provocative level.

Suddenly, Kaz's entire body became very aware of your body inches away. He could feel the heat that you radiated and the lyrical, sweet and sinful scent of your perfume flooded all his senses. The air grew thin, puffy and stuffy, and if it had been December cold outside, Kaz would still feel the height of summer in that car. Flashes of excitement and danger rippled through the car, and the brief silence grew even more charged with sexual tension and lustful anticipation that stirred every fiber of Kaz's being.

He made the mistake of looking at you again, and your softly mischievous smile that promised a lifetime of satisfied desires only served to incite his madness. Kaz had never understood how a man could want a woman so badly that he acted irrationally and carelessly. But now he understood. And when he realized you tried to stifle a sensual sigh from the way he was looking at you, his body won the fight against his mind and Kaz stopped abruptly the car at the red traffic light.

The sexual tension between you had become unbearable. In one moment, Kaz was fighting the series of overwhelming and disturbing emotions that dominated his entire being, and in the next moment, he had taken your mouth with his in a fiery, fierce, animal kiss. Stealing all the air from both of you, his thoughts, and his sanity.

He held your face firmly in his hands, his fingers going down to the strands of hair at the nape of your neck, turning everything into something more caustic and desperate. Yours hands went to his arms, moving up to his shoulders and cupping the sides of his neck, pulling him closer. Kaz's tongue inched into your mouth without waiting for permission, conquering and claiming every fiber of your body, of your soul, in a continued of kisses you couldn't tell where one ended and another began.

The moan of satisfaction you let out gave him a lust and desire unlike anything Brekker had ever felt. Like hot, addictive honey down in his throat. He was still gripped by jealousy, annoyance and possessiveness. With the desire for you pulsing in his body just like his heartbeat.

Kaz pulled back millimetrically, his blue eyes overshadowed by the heat of the moment, his lips red and swollen from the sinful kisses he gave you. At that moment, Kaz Brekker looked like an angry young God, and you've never felt more attracted to someone in your life than you are now.

You looked at him, panting and needy, wishing with all your might that he repeat the same actions. And you knew he realized that. Perfectly. You saw the spark of male satisfaction ignite in his eyes as he absorbed your desire. He was so close... so very close, and you couldn't stand the enormous anxiety for a caress, a kiss, anything.

His cocky smile intensified as you put more pressure in your touch his skin, your fingers trailing down his neck and back to his shoulders, silently pleading for him to do something with you. Anything he wanted.

Kaz lowered his one gloved hand to your jaw, thumb and forefinger squeezing your chin and making you look at him directly, you staring into the deep, shrewd blue of his eyes. He pulled you closer by the grip on your chin, the husky, erotic words hitting your lips like a promise of sin as he said:

“Maybe I should get you a collar so you don't forget who you belong to.”

It was impossible to control the loud, needy sigh that escaped, your center throbbing in despair and wetting the thin cloth of your panties. You wanted he to touch you more, pull your body against his until there was not a single sigh left, claim your soul and your body as his. You had parted your lips to say something, most likely a plea for him to continue, but the traffic light turned green and Kaz took his hands off you, straightening up on the bench and putting the car move.

In the absence of his warmth, his body, you felt cold, empty and frozen. As if Kaz were your sun and you were Icarus. Feeling the compulsion to need to get closer, complete its magnitude and bask in his rays. Every cell in your body begged for him, in needy and submissive requests, telling you to accept anything he told you, that he gave you, as long as it touched you.

“If I knew that to make you kiss me I would have to flirt with someone else, I would have done it a long time ago.” You teased, a satisfied, malicious smile on your lips.

Kaz looked at you in annoyance. In a clear warning that you should never more do that again.

"If you wanted me to kiss you like the brat you are, you just needed to have asked." He countered your game to the full.

"But if I want more than that?" But just as he knew how to play, so did you.

You swiped the tip of your tongue across your lips, kicking off your shoes and pulling your legs over the dashboard of the car, exposing your nearly bare thighs through the thin black fabric of your dress. Your actions instantly caught Kaz's eyes, and his grip on the steering wheel grew stronger and his breathing heavier.

The air inside the car became more ardent, burn, charged with eroticism and lust that left both of you breathless. An electrifying energy coursed through their bodies, as if they had been struck by a bolt of fire. You wanted him in a way you never thought you could want anyone.

Kaz took a deep breath, and looked at you with dangerous predator eyes as he said:

"If I have to pull over, you won't be able to walk for the next week."

The words made your body tremble. But if Kaz was trying to dissuade you, that was the last thing he should have told you. Instead of taming the fire inside you, it threw gasoline into the aggressive fire. You pressed your thighs together, your body sensitive to his words filled with burning promise.

In five minutes of insane courage, you took your feet off the dashboard, leaned toward Kaz, and brushed his neck with your lips. In slow, burning, hot kisses, you traced a path to the pulse in his neck, opening your lips slightly to brush your tongue over that pulse point.

“Please.” You beg.

Kaz's moan was low, but loud enough in your mind. You were being his undoing and you knew it. Suddenly, the car veered to the right and came to an abrupt stop. You would have lost your balance if Kaz's hands hadn't clung to your waist, pulling you in one movement to his left thigh, pressing your soaked core into the black fabric of his pants.

You gasped loudly, or he, or both. And in the next moment, his mouth was on yours again. The kiss was more aggressive, possessive, angry and ardent. Kaz kissed you as if he wanted to decree you his, proclaim his possession. You didn't see when he removed his gloves, but the touch of his skin with on your thighs was all you could think of.

“Kaz…” You moaned into his mouth, and the grip on your thighs moved up to your hip, digging his fingers into your thin dress-covered skin with such force it was sure to leave marks tomorrow. "Please."

You knew what you were begging for, but the moment Kaz forced your waist to move against his thigh, rubbing your pulsing core against his thigh, you forgot even your own name. And Kaz knew it. Then, like dominant man who wanted to see you surrendered to him that he was, his mouth went to your ear as he whispered:

"Do you want me to fuck you?" Kaz wiggled his thigh against you, making your clit roll against the soggy fabric of your panties.

You moaned loudly, your hands tightening on his shirt, your face hiding in his chest as an overwhelming, aching pleasure invaded your system. It felt good, but unbearable for being so little, churning something in your belly that made you despair for more.

"Y-yes." You whimpered, rolling your hips on his thigh.

Kaz's bare hand crept up the slit between your thighs, your dress already balled up at the top of your waist, and dipped his fingers into the juncture of your pussy and his thigh, pulling your panties to the side and making you feel the fabric of his dark pants against your wet, hot flesh. You moaned louder, your grip on his shirt tighter and your hips rocked harder for have any friction.

“Do you want me to fuck you like the little slut you are? Is that what you've wanted all this time?” His words, husky and strong, in that intense, dominant intonation, sent all your self-control to hell.

"Yes." You sobbed. “I-I need you."

But his hand in your panties went up to your chin, and he forced you to look him in the eye once more. The electric intensity of that look turned you on even more, making you gasp as his thigh still rocked against your throbbing clit.

“After that little stunt? you’re not getting off that easy” It was very hard to think with all the stimuli he was giving you, but the thunderous blue eyes warned you to pay attention to his words “Do you think you deserve me to fuck you?”

His gaze invaded you so deep and so warm and intense that you wondered if he was trying to leave a burning imprint on your soul. All over your body, overwhelming desires resonated, and you gave in to the compulsion to roll his thigh further, whimpering from the pressure on your clit.

"I'm s-so sorry." You whimpered, eyes pleading with he "It won't happen again."

"Won't happen what?" He tightened his grip on your chin, not painfully, but firmly to get your attention.

"It won't happen again, Sir."

The reward for your obedience came in an aggressive, hungry kiss, his hand in your chin dropping for your hip and wiggle his thigh at your needy pussy.

"Do you want to cum?" He teased you.

"Yes, S-sir."

"The only way you're getting off is on my thigh."

Then, as if to reiterate his statement, his mouth clutte to yours once more, his thigh swayed with more vigor and his bare hands moved up to the neckline of your dress.

His warm palms and long fingers lowered the straps of your dress and released your braless breasts, your nipples hard with pleasure and your breasts swollen with arousal.

Your moan was muffled by Kaz's, and he just released your mouth to lower his lips to your left breast, capturing the innocent nipple with his mouth and rolling his tongue across your flesh. You moaned louder, your waist twisting desperately against his thigh as your hands tangled in the strands of his black hair.

Kaz delighted in every inch of you, his hands going back to your waist as his mouth attacked your other breast, leaving a trail of hot saliva on his tight, needy nipples. Brekker was consumed by a fierce hunger and need, so overpowering that he pressed his fingers to your skin as if you were his last meal. He'd wanted for so long to do all that, to dive into your body like a starving man, savoring every inch of your warm skin.

Letting out a loud, delighted moan, Kaz increased his thigh movements as he suckled on your nipple, feeling flung to hell heaven as you squealed softly and collapsed onto his thigh, smearing his black fabric with your hot cum. But Kaz couldn't care less about the fucking pants. His cock hard and rigid as a sword hilt throbbed desperately, commanding him to sink into the heat of your slippery walls.

"This is much better than I dreamin." You whimpered softly, your face still buried in his neck, your waist wiggling slyly in his thigh.

"Do you think of me when you touch yourself?" He teased you, taking his hands to your panties away from the center of your pussy and pulling them between your legs, tucking them in his pants pocket.

You nodded, your mouth dipping into his neck in broken kisses as your hands went to his pants belt, trying to get rid of any barrier between the two of you as quickly as possible.

"Please, please." You begged, flustered as Kaz stopped your hip movements with his hands "I need to feel you inside me."

Your plea was sated with an arrogant kiss as Kaz reached for his pants, pulling the fabric of the boxer together and letting pop out his dick throbbing, pulsing and his swollen head, brushing in your pussy with lazy strides.

"S-sir!" You cried, trying to earn more.

"Shh, don’t worry, I’ll take very good care of you."

The strong, long arm wrapped around your waist, pressing your chest against his chest as Kaz guided his dick to the entrance to your pussy, with one hand. He play whit you, pressing his head into your entrance just enough to make you feel the pressure, recoiling when you swayed frantically for more. The painful pleasure sent tears to your eyes, and you sobbed loudly as you were just toy in his hands.

A few hot tears ran down your face as you whimpered, helpless in his arms to get what you wanted.

"You know, you look real pretty when you cry." Kaz pressed his mouth to yours.

In that second, he completely sank his dick into you, swallowing your loud scream as the thickness of it widened you and hit the bottom of the well. The grip of his arm around you tightened, and Kaz lifted you and brought you let down badly, drown his dick even more deeply inside your hot, wet, desperate walls.

"S-sir!" You moaned loudly, his mouth leaving yours, but not pulling away enough and letting you feel his hard breath hit your lips.

You followed his thrusts, bouncing your waist up and down hard and letting his dick beat frantically inside you, robbing you of your breath and your ability to think. Your moans mingled with his, the pornographic sounds of their bodies crashing together were loud and you thanked God the car windows were black and the street was deserted.

"So fucking good slut!" Kaz growled against your lips, one hand leaving your body to snake down to your throat, maintaining a firm, dominant grip.

You moaned his name and his title between loud moans and broken sobs. Yours hands closed around the shirt off his shoulders and the waist shimmied between the thrusts, making sure his dick was completely inside you.

“You look so good with my hand wrapped around your throat!” Kaz tightened his grip on yoir neck, watching you tilt your head back and expose your entire body to the delight of his eyes.

He growled louder, spurred on by that sinful sight, and increased the rhythm that pounded inside you, filling every inch of you and sinking down as anatomically as possible. Kaz felt possessed by a wild beast, insatiable and euphoric, and each thrust he gave you was more force he inflicted on you, marking you as his.

Kaz pulled your neck to him, pressing your mouth to his as he growled against your lips: “Mine.”

You nodded frantically, the apex bursting in a burst of pleasure as his dick came out and sank in hard, desperate, urgent strokes.

“Yours”

You promised, kissing him urgently and swallowing a low cry as his dick shuddered inside you, flooding you with the hot liquid until your walls overflowed, giving you a feeling of being incredibly full. You whimpered into his mouth, exchanging a sloppy kiss as Kaz gave you a few more thrusts, making sure his cum would fill your every inch, not letting you dare waste a drop.

“Mine” he repeated through the kiss.

so, the weather??? HAHAHA, anyway friends, i hope you enjoyed. Don’t forget consult the rules if you want to request for some Kaz smut. Love u. O

[solarwonux]

Payment Due! || Jeon Wonwoo (6/7)

Pairing: Camboy!Wonwoo x f!reader || sex worker au!

w.c: 10.1k (I’m sorry lolol)

Genre: 18+ smut, fluff, angst

Warnings: angst, smut, mentions of weed and axe body spray (yes this is a warning) teasing LOTS OF IT, mentions of sexting, a bet, smut, suggestive, oral (f receiving), fingering, cum eating, penetrative sex, semi-protected sex, slight cum play, mentions of squirting.  

Synopsis: HYBE U one of the top highly prestigious universities in the country. A shithole, a total money making scam that liked to sucked the life out of its students. Not being able to meet the funds to pay for your tuition your best friend lets you in a little secret. A way he’s been keeping afloat for years now, easy money. The problem is you want in.

Note: Hello everyone, thank you so much for being so patient with me these last two weeks. Payment Due! is coming to an end and I’m a little sad but also happy, but I’ll get more into that when I upload the last part/epilogue next week and the ending ment (hopefully I can get it up in time) This was one of my fav chapters to write tbh. (I feel like I say that for all the chapters I’ve written lmao) ANYWAY, enjoy, let me know your thoughts please and thank you.xxxxx

Masterlist || prev || next

You look beautiful today ;)

The butterflies in your stomach erupt the second you read Wonwoo’s text and instantly you look up at him. Your bright eyes find his hiding behind his new black frames. A little part of you dies, paying your kind respects to his round specs. The fantasy of them sliding off his nose while he’s in between your legs, dies with it. Buried deep in the confinements of his bedside drawer, while you conjure up a new fantasy, one that involves his new dark frames and it makes your body heat up. 

New glasses? I like them, miss the other ones though :(

You set your phone down, returning your attention to the screen of your laptop. The word document sitting untouched as you tried to come up with a new topic sentence for your final paragraph.

Graduation was a week away. Three days to be exact, so not really a week away, but that’s what it felt like. Staying away from Wonwoo was a lot harder than you thought. Everything reminded you of him, from the stray cat you found on your way home from work on a Saturday night - in which of course you named her Lilac after Wonwoo’s favorite flower - to the One Direction song Joshua showed you when you slept over last week. 

It was driving you insane, especially because Jeonghan loved to remind you how stupid the two of you were being. 

“If you guys want to fuck, just fuck. Stop beating around the bush it’s giving me blue balls and I have sex with my boyfriends at least two times a week.” He drunkenly stated after four margaritas’s a month ago when you had gone over for margarita night. A national holiday only Joshua, Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Maya celebrated. 

“Yeah, dude, I’ve been waiting for the moment Wonwoo stops being stupid for years and I’m met with this.” Maya, grumbles blowing out air, making the strands of her fiery red hair that had fallen over her right eye take flight only for it to land against the tip of her nose again. “I say we make a bet on who makes the first move. By the end of this week, they’ll be at it like rabbits.” She lifts her glass, proposing the toast, making the three men yell out their predictions. 

Little did they know Wonwoo and you had been texting minimally every day, with the added naughty sext. You had never once made the actual effort to take nudes. But ever since Jeonghan’s Nude 101 lecture, you had started too. And damn, did it turn you on beyond belief. Most nights, if neither of you were slumped with final assignments, projects, or papers. The two of you would spend a good portion of it teasing one another, through tiny blue chat bubbles. It would start innocently, like now. Only for it to increase into slightly more suggestive statements. Until you nor Wonwoo could take it anymore. 

One moment you’d be giggling against the pillow fortes on your bed, and then the next your hand would sneakily make its way down your pants. Imagining his fingers. Repeating the dirty words he had texted you in your head while you imagined him doing everything he said he would do to you. 

Needless to say, those were the best orgasms you had ever been able to give yourself. And you were damn good at pleasing yourself. But the relentless push and pull had the two of you on your toes. Counting down the days until graduation. Until he got to buy you your favorite meal at the diner, already on the house because Maya wanted to see her ship finally sail. 

Three days, that’s all you needed to wait. Three days and two nights. But with the way, Wonwoo looked now. New black frames, tight workout shirt, sitting slightly below his belly button, showing off the silver barbells, the ridges of his abdomen, and his biceps. His cargo pants hanging low on his hips, the band of his black underwear peeking through. By the show of his smirk, you could tell he did this on purpose. Spent an extra hour in front of his bathroom mirror, trying on outfits like a teenage girl getting ready to impress her crush on the first day of junior year of high school. You knew he purposely visited the cafe, ordered his usual black coffee with one pump of chocolate syrup because he knew you would be sitting there working on your final assignment that was due on Saturday morning, an hour before the graduation ceremony. 

This wasn’t fair. 

Just then, before you could spiral further into the gutter your phone rings. Quickly, almost embarrassingly too quick you pick it up. An insignificant frown appears on your face when it’s Jeonghan’s name on your phone screen and not Wonwoo’s. 

No contact for two months? Did Cheol win? Pls, I can’t lose, my reputation is on the line. !!!

You roll your eyes and place your phone down, screen down, and look up. Both Wonwoo and Jeonghan are looking in your direction. Jeonghan with a suspicious glint behind his tired eyes. His hand protruded with Wonwoo’s drink, slightly annoyed because he was holding up the line. He clears his throat, making Wonwoo jump, his hungry eyes leave you and for the first time in a while, you feel completely naked now that he isn't looking at you anymore. 

They both exchange a few words. Jeonghan’s arms crossed, eyebrows furrowed in determination and you know he’s interrogating Wonwoo which makes you groan in annoyance. Your newfound friends seem to have trouble minding their own business. For weeks now they have been secretly meeting up, every Wednesday after Jeonghan’s closing shift in one of the classrooms along the hallways connected to the Campus Cafe. Their sole purpose is to discuss anything related to the bet they had going on.

Joshua had lost a long time ago along with Maya. Their bets fell through when even after a week you and Wonwoo had respectively kept your distance. Seungcheol had a day left to win and Jeonghan was heavily convinced the two of you would make it to Saturday morning. He claimed because after only knowing you for a short period of time, your self-control was stronger than anyone he had ever known.  

In other words, your competitive spirit wouldn’t let you give in, no matter how much you really really really wanted to. 

The only reason you knew about these secret debriefing meetings was because yesterday they dragged Yoongi into them. Maya had supposedly seduced him into a classroom while he was passing by only to be interrogated - his exact words - by the four menaces you had grown to love. Apparently, they needed his quiet brooding expertise, because he was the least suspicious person they knew. 

Little did they know that Yoongi sitting with you during his break and gifting you a strawberry milkshake only made him more suspicious. To add on he asked about your love life. That was the most he had ever said to you, except for your name every time he announced that your drink was ready. And the, have a lovely day that accompanied it every time you took it from his hand. 

Yoongi confessed and apologized after five minutes and the second sip of your drink. Not a second later you were marching up to the counter, thanking your angels that it wasn’t rush hour and the cafe was empty. Except for you, a few other stressed-out students typing furiously on their laptop keyboards. That would’ve been you if you weren’t busy sharing the colorful vocabulary you had adapted while growing up to Jeonghan’s face. 

His glare towards Yoongi was deadly, mumbling a quiet, I should’ve never trusted the weakling, underneath his breath. That earned him a hard flick against his forehead from you, making him apologize to his coworker not a moment later. 

It was an eventful first two hours. You still had one more before your last class of the day, which was roughly an hour and fifteen minutes long, and finally you’d be home. Underneath your bedspread, hopefully sharing a dirty exchange with Wonwoo before bed. 

In hindsight, if you were to tell your friends what was really going on behind the scenes, Minghao would have won a long ass time ago. He wasn’t there when the bet was finalized, but unknowingly Maya had told him. When you clocked in for your shift, the first thing Minghao had told you was that you and Wonwoo wouldn’t last three days without talking to one another. And it had happened exactly like that. Both you and Wonwoo had sworn to secrecy. Changing your names on each other’s phones to not attract any suspicions just in case either of you decided to start your teasing earlier than usual and in the presence of others.  

It was fun not giving in to your friends' antics. Seeing all five of them, now six with the addition of Yoongi made it all the more exciting. And now you were determined not to lose.

He just wanted to remind me of his brother’s birthday tomorrow. 

You finally reply to Jeonghan. Wonwoo now walking to the double doors that connected the hallway of classrooms, double-checking to see if anyone was looking before blowing you a kiss and mouthing that he would text you tonight. You don’t get enough time to respond as inconspicuously as possible because the text tone of your phone makes you jump.

I’ll let it slide but if I find out that I lost a month's worth of einstein bagels, you’re losing your free coffee privileges forever!!!!!!!

Befriending Jeonghan was the greatest and worst thing you have ever done. 

The mailroom was only a small overcrowded room next to the laundry room on the first floor. If it didn’t smell like cheap detergent from the convenience store down the street. It smelled like the aging metal and sweat, sometimes weed if you were lucky. 

This is where you spent your Friday nights, instead of going out. Somehow a month into your not talking to each other but talking to each other, deal; getting the mail at the same time, on the same day every week had become a part of your routine. 

“We aren’t supposed to talk to each other.” You say, inserting the key to your mailbox, opening it and grabbing the stack of mail you purposely let pile up for Friday’s. 

Wonwoo stands next to you copying your movements. “We have one day left.” He rolls his eyes, closing his mailbox. “And that’s not what your text was suggesting earlier.” He side-eyes you, leaning his shoulder against the metal mailboxes, slyly going through his mail. Prolonging the few minutes he has with you.

 “Oh, my cousin is getting married, want to be my date?” He grabs the cream-colored envelope in his fingers and turns it so it’s facing you. 

You smile, closing your mailbox and picking up the same cream-colored envelope, and showing it to him. “Have to see, I might be busy attending my boyfriend’s cousin's wedding.” You shrug, taking your key out of the lock. “I think he’ll be okay with me going with my best friend.” You send him a wink and walk towards the door. 

The yellow light of the overhead lamp flickers. It almost leaves the two of you in complete darkness and that’s something you definitely want to avoid. There was only a day left. And you weren’t about to break your shitty abstinence streak, here, in the mailroom that smells like weed and cool ocean axe body spray.

Wonwoo, though, has other ideas. He’s close to tipping over the iceberg. More so now that you indirectly referred to him as your boyfriend, when he had done a shitty job of asking you to be his through a voice note while he was in mid-orgasm. Your response was a voice note of you laughing - the melodic laugh he hadn’t had the privilege of hearing in person for almost two months made his stomach jump, only for it to plummet into the deep ocean when you declined. He sat there frayed, cum covering his chest, putting a damper on the sweet high he had just experienced. He didn’t answer for what seemed like an hour but really, only five minutes had gone by. 

The next text he got from you, was your promise of a definite yes on graduation night. It weaved the disappointment and sadness away as it was replaced with more impatience. His eagerness kept him up all night that day. The next day Maya made fun of his eye bags under the bright fluorescent lights of the lab classroom. 

He didn’t talk to her for the full two hours, which only made her teasing worse. 

Wonwoo should’ve never introduced her to Jeonghan. Now he had a second Jeonghan in female form making his life miserable every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon from two to four. 

“Wait a few more minutes.” He rushes, taking long strides and closing the door to the mailroom. The impact shakes the overhead lamp and finally after months of hanging on by a literal thread it goes out. Leaving the two of you in complete darkness. 

Your breathing hitches, lodges itself in the back of your throat, “Wonwoo.” The single word, his name, was the only thing you could get out. Even though it's only a faint whisper, as his body basically traps you in. Instantly you forget about all the smells of the small room, basking in the comfort of Wonwoo’s cologne. His hand is still on the doorknob, his other clenching and unclenching by his side. 

“Just one kiss and I’ll let you go.” He whispers, bringing his face down. You could feel his breath against your neck and you curse yourself while thanking yourself for wearing your hair up instead of down. “Please, I’ll be good, just one kiss.” His lips hover above your skin, his warm breath fanning it, delicately kissing it. 

You swallow, closing your eyes. It was tempting. Everything about Wonwoo was tempting, to the way he purposely chose to wear a crop top today, showing off the metal stud adorning his belly button. To the sweet messages, he sent you every night before bed. Paragraphs recounting loving memories of the two of you that he would never let go of. Or essays of the things he loved most about you. Every night was something new and it only made your heart for him grow in size. 

One day you’ll be able to see yourself from his point of view and understand why he thought the world of you. And you couldn’t wait. 

“And let Jeonghan win, he’s so serious about this. I bet he has spies everywhere we go.” You joke, swallowing thickly before turning around and placing your hand on his chest. It sends a shaking jolt through your body, almost knocking you down and giving in. But you are stronger than this, you spent almost a decade hiding your romantic feelings and sexual attraction towards him. You could wait one day. 

“Tomorrow, I’ll give you all the kisses you want and more.” You tilt your head, tapping your fingers against his chest. He bites his bottom lip and sighs, letting go of the doorknob, and steps back, taking his comforting aura and smell with him. 

Finally, you could breathe again. 

“After tomorrow I’m never letting you go.” He stuffs his hands in the pocket of his sweats, pushing them further down, leaving very little to your ever-present imagination. “You go up first before I change my mind and take you against the wall.” 

“I think having sex on camera again is something I don’t want to do for a while or probably ever.” You point at the security camera in the corner of the room. The red light flickering, indicating that it was indeed working. “That Mingyu dude finally got the message and stopped dming me on Instagram.” 

“You could’ve just blocked him.” Wonwoo sighs. 

“And have him make more accounts? I don’t think so.” You shake your head, “Plus he’s cute and used to let me cheat off him in our college math course a couple of years ago.” 

Wonwoo rolls his eyes and closes the distance between the two of you again. This time not caring about a camera or a bet or the fact that he was already semi-hard, and circles his arms around your waist reeling you in. “He’s cute?” His jealousy seeps through and he feels ashamed. Only a little. 

“Calm down baby boy, you know I only want you.” You giggle and push him away again, making him drop his hands. “I’m going now, stay, if you follow me I’ll let front desk Kyle know that you watched The Lord of the Rings series last week.” 

“That’s cruel. You know he won’t shut up about it if you get him talking. He’s worse than apartment 203 Kyle every time a new Avengers movie comes out.” He whines, stomping his foot on the ground childishly. 

You smile, reaching behind and opening the door. “Then you know not to follow me.” 

He nods, stepping back until he hits the metal mailboxes, the single overhead light starts flickering again, slowly bringing the room back to life. “I’ll miss you.” 

You don’t answer, instead, you blow him a kiss and walk out. Years ago, back when you were fifteen, after a disastrous date and messy inexperienced make-out session with the boy in the mailroom, you swore that being with Wonwoo wasn’t what the universe wanted. Now a decade later, a bachelor’s degree and a master’s degree a day away, you were more than positive that this is what the universe wanted. 

You and Wonwoo together, until the end of time because truthfully the only person you saw yourself ever being with was him.

“Our little girls are growing up.” Seungcheol fake sobs into Joshua’s neck as Jeonghan took a picture of you and Maya in your graduation gowns.

In just two months Maya and you had grown closer and closer. The two of you spent every waking moment together. Sometimes you even visited the diner she worked at, sat in your usual booth doing your assignments, while she kept the unlimited fries - a specialty of the said diner - coming. 

This was only after she approached you one afternoon in the hallway on your way home from class. Kindly, she introduced herself and apologized for what had happened at the bookstore. Then you invited her to get coffee and the minute the two of you got talking about anything and everything, you couldn’t stop. She told you about how Wonwoo never shuts up about you and how she has this overpowering crush on her co-worker; Soonyoung. 

Tonight she plans on asking him out. She says he’s too focused on his Environment Conservation degree and the decreasing population of tigers to notice any of her advancement. “Shut up, you’re worse than my actual dad and he’s non-existent.” Maya spits out, joking, earning a pointed look from Seungcheol. Every time Maya made a joke about her dad or lack of a dad, Seungcheol always got mad. He says self-deprecating jokes aren’t allowed in the family and that she shouldn’t joke about such a thing because it made him feel bad. 

In typical Maya fashion, she ignores him. 

“My mom’s already inside with Wonwoo’s parents, they’re saving you all a seat.” You bud in before the start of another argument. An argument only a father and a daughter would have. Maya didn’t have a dad but she sure had Seungcheol and that was enough. 

“One more picture please.” Joshua begs, pushing his boyfriend away, “With all three of us, our first family picture.” 

“Not a family picture until Wonwoo gets here though and we’re missing Yoongi and Hao,” Jeonghan grumbles. Upset that he had officially lost the bet. He would’ve won if Wonwoo and you decided to carpool to the venue like the two of you originally planned, but he was running late so you decided to just go with Maya. 

“Fine, then let’s take a partial family picture and when we finally open the restaurant next week, we’ll take another one.” Joshua combat’s, his snarky tone goes unnoticed, making Seungcheol huff out and Jeonghan rolls his eyes. 

Despite only knowing the four of them for two months you had quickly picked up on some of their habits. Whenever Joshua was nervous his sarcasm would increase, almost coming across as rude. But you understood where his nerves were coming from, this was the first time and most public event the three of them attended as boyfriends since officializing their relationship. Though no one on the outside of your friend group would know, it was still enough for his nerves to spiral out of control. 

“Can we make it quick, I want to get a good seat?” Maya speaks up, fixing her tassel. You would think after doing this three times, the direction of the tassel before the ceremony would be ingrained into your brains. But neither you nor Maya knew. Opting to google it as your last option. 

Tassels go on the right side until their degrees are conferred, then moved to the left.

According to the small box of text that appeared at the top beyond the search. Still, the two of you were unsure until Seungcheol fixed them after picking the two of you up from your apartment. 

“Let’s wait for loverboy. He just texted me saying he’s parked.” Jeonghan pipes in, turning his phone around, showing off the short text from Pornsite Loverboy, no doubt Wonwoo. Joshua groans, running a hand through his hair. Every time someone surrounding all of you turns their head for a minuscule second, he starts to silently panic again, making his need to go inside away from prying eyes grow significantly.  

Seungcheol places a comforting hand on his shoulder squeezing it gently, making his eyes bulge out of their sockets. The touch is innocent, but in Joshua’s head, it's not. Every time he’s in this state he can’t stop his mind from entering the gutter. 

“I’m scared to know what my name is on your phone.” You point out, shifting from side to side. Decided, wearing heels was the worst idea you could have possibly had today, you hadn’t been standing for long and your feet were already threatening to fall off. 

“It’s Princess of Idiocy of course and Maya is Flaming Hot Cheetos cause you know her hair.” He shrugs, shoving his phone into the pocket of his jeans. Maya steps forward, her fist in the air but before she could land her punch. Wonwoo screams, causing all five of you to turn your attention to him. Maya’s attack is gone but certainly not forgotten. Knowing her she was already planning her revenge in her head. 

The air in your lungs gets caught in the back of your throat as your eyes finally find Wonwoo’s. He’s running faster than you have ever seen him run. His graduation gown open, showing off his white dress shirt and black slacks. You have to literally pinch your arm to keep yourself from drooling. His hair is styled to perfection with a few strands falling over his left eye. You’re left wondering how it hasn’t moved a centimeter when he finally stops in front of your friend group, smiling wildly. 

You have half a mind to completely skip graduation, it wasn’t like you were going to get your diploma right away. HYBE kept it hostage for another eight weeks. So would it even matter to cut your celebration with your family short just to get a head start on the private one you and Wonwoo have had scheduled for two months? You were more than positive that sitting next to him for two hours, listening to a bunch of bullshit speeches about how the future's looking bright for all graduates would be impossible. Especially when he literally looked good enough to eat. 

“Great, now that half of us are here, let’s take this picture. My feet are killing me.” Maya claps her hand, making you jump, taking you out of your thoughts.

“Hello to you too.” Wonwoo chuckles, zipping up his gown, turning to face you. “Help me.” He says extending his hand with his graduation cap to you. You nod and swallow, taking it from his hand, repeating right first then left as you fix his tassel and place it onto his head. Mourning the loss of his perfectly styled hair, jealous that the stupid cap was the one to ruin it and not you. 

“There, you look good.” You whisper, taking a step back. 

“Thanks, so do you, beautiful.” He smiles and stands next to you, placing his arm around your waist, and pulling you in. “I’m proud of you, we did it!” He whispers in your ear and leaves a gentle kiss against your temple. 

Jeonghan watches the entire scene, raising his brows in suspicion. “You two look awfully too comfortable for not talking for two months.” He crosses his arms in front of his chest and pokes the inside of his cheek with the tip of his tongue. 

“Oh they’ve been sexting,” Maya says, standing next to you, circling your waist in a side hug. Wonwoo sends her a glare and she sticks out her tongue at him like a child. “Sorry, but I wasn’t going to miss out on the look of Jeonghan’s face when he found out.” She says pointing at the blonde who was recently sporting a shorter haircut. His mouth opened in shock as he looked between you and Wonwoo. 

Offended he puts a hand over his heart. “The two of you have been lying to me?” 

“We didn’t want any of you to win.” 

“Correction, she didn’t want any of you to win. I was ready to give in a week into our deal.” Wonwoo points out, smirking. You scoff, hitting his chest lightly. 

Jeonghan stands up straight, his smile widens, and pushes his hair back, “I don’t care honestly, I just know everyone here has to pay up, especially you two” He points two of his fingers between you and Wonwoo. “I’ll expect the payment by tonight.” He finishes, skipping happily to Wonwoo's side and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Even though he hadn’t won something inside of you told you that he was going to get his way one way or another. 

“So here’s the thing I also expect to be the best man at your wedding too because let’s face it without me you love birds wouldn’t be together.” 

You roll your eyes, leaning slightly forward, “Hannie we aren’t together.” 

“Yet, she means we aren’t together yet.” Wonwoo buds in, pulling your body closer to his. “By the end of tonight, you’ll be mine.” He whispers in your ear, the same voice he used for his streams, sending a chill down your spine. 

“If we’re the last ones to walk across that stage, I’m blaming all of you,” Maya says, pinching both yours and Wonwoo’s arm, making the two of you hiss out in pain. 

“Alright alright, let’s take this picture before Maya has a conniption.” Seungcheol chimes standing next to Jeonghan, giving him a kiss on the cheek making the blonde blush deeply. 

The five of you wait, watching Joshua go up to an older lady, with bright Fuschia-colored lipstick and hands her his camera. They share a few words, using his charm and good looks to lure her in. You watch as they hug before Joshua is running and standing next to Seungcheol, his arm immediately going around his waist like second nature. 

“On three, say, family,” Jeonghan yells, while the lady starts her countdown. You smile, hugging Wonwoo’s waist. Instead of doing as Jeonghan says, you lean up and kiss his cheek as soon as the camera goes off. 

“Oh, I-” Wonwoo says, a rose-colored hue decorating his cheeks. He looks down, trying to hide how flustered he is, making you laugh loudly, while the rest of your friends try to figure out what happened. You won’t tell them until Joshua sends his film to develop and though the picture wasn’t complete. It would be one the two of you would cherish for the rest of your lives. 

Wonwoo couldn’t keep his hands to himself for more than five minutes. During the whole two-hour ceremony, his arm was either around your waist, shoulders, or simply resting on your lap. Squeezing it every time he heard something he liked. His own special way to keep himself from forgetting it. 

When it was finally time to receive your diploma; a blank sheet of paper that gave off the illusion to the spectators. He held your hand the entire time, fingers locked tightly with yours until you had to walk across the stage, shake hands with a bunch of different people you only heard off, not actually seen. 

But as soon as the two of you were back to your seats, he was touching you again. 

It gave you butterflies, to feel him so close to you but not to the point it would be deemed inappropriate. His touches were intimate but innocent and no one batted an eyelash when his touch found yours again. 

His parents and your mom seemed to just know what was going on because they didn’t even question his attachment to you once. Not during the post-ceremony photoshoot with family in front of the huge university sign. Not even during dinner when he insisted on sharing a plate with you. Not even when he fed you a forkful of pasta and sealed it with a cheeky peck on your lips. It was like they were waiting for the moment in which you and Wonwoo got together, again. But with the reaction to their newfound discovery being so anticlimactic you suspected they were just waiting until the two of you finally came to your senses. 

And you did. 

You suspected they were more proud of you and Wonwoo finishing graduate school. Even more so when Wonwoo promised to someday go back for a Ph.D. in which you most certainly declined the idea immediately. They didn’t care about whatever was going on between the two of you. At least that’s what they kept bragging about to whoever they saw on the street or the waiter at the fancy restaurant they picked out to celebrate. 

Still, it gave you a sense of security that no one was freaking out as you had imagined it. Everything was so normal, so easy that it almost scared you to the point of running away. Was love supposed to be this easy? Did you make the right decision? Will this be your utter downfall instead of your success? You almost wished you had declined the dinner reservation and just gone to Jeonghan’s place instead. Bottomless mojitos were his promise, and it was so tempting. Honestly, you would’ve given in if it weren’t for the sparkle of pride behind your mom and Wonwoo’s parents’ eyes. 

In a way, they were your kryptonite. 

Wonwoo saw your distress as soon as the dessert was placed down in the middle of the table. He held your hand tightly underneath the table and kissed your cheek before handing you a spoon. After the chocolate cake had basically disappeared, he made it his mission to get the two of you out of there as fast as possible. Before either, his mom or your mom stopped playing coy and started asking questions that neither of you really had the answer to. 

He succeeded, both of you said your goodbyes as quickly as possible before exiting the restaurant and practically dragging you to his car. 

The entire car ride was silent. One of his Spotify playlists playing through his car speakers. It felt nice like it used to feel but this time the two of you were connected on a much deeper level. A plane where the two of you simultaneously existed as not only best friends but lovers. It was like a dream come true. And even though you were slightly scared to take this life-altering step with him, you were still excited to see how beautiful it was going to turn out. 

“My place or yours?” He turns the volume dial down, succumbing the entire car in silence. He’s slowing down, making his way to his designated parking spot. That’s when the nerves start to build up in the pit of your stomach. Tonight had the possibility of going both ways and you didn’t have a preference. You really just wanted to be with him and him only. 

“Yours, I didn’t clean up before leaving.” You smile, unbuckling your seatbelt, while he puts his car in park, turning the ignition off. He chuckles and turns to face you, resting his elbow in the middle console and leaning forward. His fingers find your chin, turning your head gently to face him. 

“I’ve seen your place in worse states.” He leans in, stopping centimeters away from your lips. Your breath hitches. Your eyes struggle to find a point of focus and they don’t. Not even when he closes the distance and kisses you gently. He doesn’t give you enough time to process everything before he’s pulling away, resting his forehead against your own. “Let’s go since you’ve chosen my place. I can give you your surprise early.” 

“Surprise?” You say taken back. Wonwoo hums, sits back, and nods his head. He takes his car keys out of the ignition before opening his door. “I didn’t get you anything though.” You pout, opening your door and getting out. Once you're standing the discomfort in your feet begins again and you find yourself wondering why you choose to not only wear heels but the most uncomfortable pair that you own. 

Beauty is pain, but is it really worth a bunch of disgusting blisters? You decide no. 

“Didn’t have to, just being with you is enough for me.” 

All you know is that if Wonwoo didn’t want you entering his apartment before getting the chance to blindfold you. He shouldn’t have made the code to his apartment your birthdate.  

“Stop being so pouty, I love it.” You circle your arms around his waist, resting your cheek against his back. “Is this why you were late?” You let your hands travel up his torso, playing with the top button of his dress shirt. 

His whole apartment was decorated to the nines. The light was dim, rose petals scattered everywhere, creating a heart in the middle of his living room right where his couch should be. Instead, it was pushed against the wall where his gaming setup used to be along with the coffee table. 

Will You Be My Girlfriend?

Carefully drawn out on a large poster board and you know it was Minghao’s doing. As much as you think highly of Wonwoo, his art skills weren’t the best. You still loved every part of it that you didn’t want to move from your spot at the entrance of his place in fear of ruining it. 

“Yes, I was triple-checking everything.” He sighs, moving his arm so it's over your shoulder, and turns his body. “So, will you?” He whispers, playing with the thin straps of your baby blue mini dress. 

“I would love to be your girlfriend Wonwoo.” 

A deep sigh of relief escapes Wonwoo making you giggle at how nervous he was. The anticipation of waiting for your answer in the last few seconds was enough to drive him crazy. Enough to make him forget the entire speech he had planned out and the velvet box sitting nicely, burning a hole in the pocket of his slacks. 

He stumbles, creating a small space between the two of you before taking it out and popping the lid open, making your eyes grow wide. A simple silver ring, with a rainbow opal gemstone and a cluster of three tiny diamonds on each side, looks up at you. “Wonwoo wha-”

He shakes his head, placing his index finger over your lips. “Before you freak out, it’s a promise ring. We’ve been in each other’s lives for so long that honestly, I don’t see myself living a life without you in it. I want to marry you one day, have kids with you, and eventually grow old with you. Retire to a silent beach town complaining about how much our joints hurt all day.” He takes a deep breath, “I love you, I’ve loved you for so long whether it was platonic at first or not, I don’t know and I don’t care because what matters is you here with me right now. So with this ring I promise to get to know you in every way shape or form. I promise to be your shoulder to cry on and be your number one supporter in whatever you choose to do in life. I promise to encourage you to love yourself unconditionally, to believe in yourself, and to trust yourself. I promise to love you and treat you the way you deserve. I promise to let you be you and to grow with you. And I promise to one day make you mine in front of your friends and family.” He finishes, holding out the ring to you, nervously searching your eyes in hopes he didn’t just royally fuck up and taken a step too far. 

Which would’ve been reasonable, the two of you had agreed to take it slow. This was far from slow. In fact, this was the second before reaching the finish line and for a moment when he sees the single tear fall down your cheek, he wishes he could take it back. But that thought is soon buried deep deep deep into the crevices of his brain when your lips crash onto his. 

He doesn’t kiss you back at first, floored at your boldness and lack of words. Then your hands grab hold of his shirt, pulling him closer, your lips molding onto his and he finally kisses you back. It’s full of passion, sparks flying between the two of you as you start to unbutton his shirt. Wonwoo panics and pulls away, desperate to slip the ring onto the ring finger of your right hand to finally solidify his promise to you.

“Baby wait, let me put the ring on you before I lose it.” He says gasping for breath. The kiss was nothing like he had ever experienced before. It literally took the air away from his lungs and he was struggling, trying to find a way to put it back in. Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten rid of that inhaler. His asthma wasn’t as bad as it used to be so really he had no need to have one on deck. That is until now. 

“Oh right.” You click your tongue, extending your left hand out to him, wiggling your fingers. 

“Other hand.” He says pushing away your left hand and grabbing your right one, making you raise an eyebrow at him. He ignores you, focused, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip as he takes the ring out of the velvet box, closing the lid and throwing it somewhere behind him. He decides he’ll worry about that later. 

With the utmost careful precision, he slides the ring onto your finger, sighing happily when it fits perfectly. “It’s perfect, promise me you won’t ever take it off.” He pouts, hugging you tightly, almost cutting off your airflow.

“I won’t, I love it so much.” You smile, leaving a peck against his chin. “But I do have one question.” 

“I might have an answer for you.” He teases. 

“Why my right hand and not my left hand?” You pull away enough to look at him. 

A smirk appears on his face before looking at you. “It’s reserved for the other ring I bought for you, but I can’t give it to you yet.” 

“Can you help me take my heels off?”

Wonwoo shakes his head, his dress shirt now unbuttoned, showing off his toned chest and the faint love bites you left behind after a heavy make-out session in his living room. You take your bottom lip in between your lips as he kneels in front of you. 

“Next time you’re leaving them on.” He takes your right heel, unbuckling it. He slips it off, sets it behind him, and attaches his lips to your ankle, kissing your leg. When he reaches the inside of your thigh he bites down, making you gasp. Chuckling he swipes his tongue over his bite, sucks on it gently before sitting back on his calves. His thumbs rub circles around your thighs, pushing up the hem of your dress. 

“I’ll make sure to wear comfortable heels next time.” You wink, lifting your left foot up, and placing it over his shoulder. Eyes filled with lust he turns his face and kisses over the strap of your heel, unbuckling it and slipping it off. He repeats his actions on your leg, smirking against your skin when you let out a tiny moan the second he sinks his teeth into the flesh of your inner thigh. Sneaking his hands underneath your ass, finally exposing your underwear to him.

He sucks in a breath, your arousal seeping through the thin material, making him salivate. “Can I touch you?” His eyes are hooded with pleasure, peeking over the black frames of his glasses. He doesn’t stop to hear your answer. Attaching his lips to the skin of your thighs, sucking, alternating between the two of them. 

Your hand makes its way through his hair, pulling him close, craving to feel the heat of his mouth on you. “Yes, please Woo I want this so bad.” You hiss, voice masked with need. 

“Lay down for me baby girl.” He whispers against your skin, giving your thigh one last kiss before sitting up, placing a hand against your mound, and pushing you down gently. He licks his lips, placing both of your legs over his shoulders. He sits up on his knees, connecting his lips with the band of your underwear, making you gasp. One of his fingers, ghosts over your clothed slit, teasing you further. 

Wonwoo lets out a short laugh when you start lifting your hips, chasing his hand. “Slow baby, I want to take tonight slow. Devour you until you can’t feel anything else but my touch all over your skin.” He whispers, taking the band of your panties in between his teeth, pulling it, and letting it go, enjoying the way it bounces against your skin. “What do you want?” 

“Anything, your fingers, your mouth, your cock. I don’t care, I just want you, Woo.” You sigh, back bowing off his bed when slides his fingers up and down your clothed slit. A satisfied hum leaves his lips as he takes your panties off with his teeth, moaning when the thin layer reveals you to him completely. 

The prickles of your short pubes tickle his nose. You smell so nice, look so beautiful. He has to fight everything in his body, telling him to grab his polaroid to take a picture. There are enough days in his life with you in all the positions he desires to see you in, where he can take as many pictures as he wants. Right now, he needs to taste you so bad that he feels like a starved man. 

“So beautiful my love, I never want you to change anything about you.” He states, pulling off your panties completely and throwing them behind him. “Never change anything about this.” He says, delicately running his fingers over the soft coarse hair decorating and protecting your cunt. 

You take a deep breath, “I didn’t shave, I'm sorry.” You mumble. Wonwoo shakes his head and brings his hand down against your thigh. The slap isn’t hard but it’s enough to make you gasp out in shock. Quickly you sit up on your elbows, his brows furrowed in a scowl. 

“Don’t apologize. I honestly don’t care, it makes you sexier.” He leans down kissing the hood of your clit. “If it were up to me I’d never let you shave.” He mumbles, running two of his fingers up your slit, earning a moan from you. 

“Your fingers are cold.” You lay down again, using your legs to pull him closer. 

“I have a few ideas on how I can warm them up.” He says, prodding your entrance with the tip of his finger. “Want to find out?” He pushes in, smirking at the tiny whines escaping your mouth. 

“God, yes please.” You gasp when he pushes his finger in completely, your warm walls welcoming him. It feels so good, better than your own fingers and he hasn’t even moved yet. He lets you adjust to the light stretch. If this was already driving you insane you couldn’t begin to imagine how good it would feel once his cock was in you, stretching you out into oblivion. The thought turns your brain into mush.

“Woo, move please.” You whimper. 

Wonwoo smirks and starts thrusting his finger, slowly, looking for that sweet spot inside you that will have you screaming his name all night long if he does everything right. “Move a little more to the right, you’re almost there.” You gasp, bucking your hips when he follows your instructions and finds your g-spot. Wonwoo massages it, memorizing the location so that the next time he has no trouble when looking for it. 

“Does it feel good? Talk to me, baby girl.” He moves his finger a bit faster, connects his lips to the mound of pussy, leaving behind open-mouthed kisses before pulling away. He gathers a glob of spit in his mouth and drops it onto your clit, moaning as it slowly moves down your pussy, his free fingers spreading his saliva and your arousal all over your lips and clit. 

“Oh my-yes. Want your mouth please.” You breathe out, your hands fisting his navy blue duvet, his thumb gently circling over your clit. 

“I bet you taste so good.” He swipes his tongue over your cunt, his finger inside of you pauses for a second as he moans, letting your essence coat his taste buds. Immediately he concludes that he could spend hours in between your legs pleasing you. He wraps his lips over your clit and sucks, moving his finger inside of you again, quickly finding your g-spot again and prodding at it gently. 

The pleasure is overwhelming, but it feels so good you never want it to stop. And silently, without letting too much guilt seep in you curse your previous boyfriends and past hook-ups for depriving you of such pleasure. 

Though maybe it was for the better. Wonwoo being the first one to go down on you, putting your pleasure above his own has ruined it for anyone else that will never come after him. Now he’s ultimately stuck with you forever, knowing that his mouth can do more than just offer comforting words, awful jokes, and philosophical quotes. 

Wonwoo is moaning loudly against you, making you whimper, your hips rotating, grinding yourself against him, pushing him further. It’s embarrassing how close you are to orgasm. Usually, it takes a lot more effort on your part to get you to that sweet high. But here is Wonwoo defying all laws of physics, with his vile menstruations that you’re so close to the edge. 

He pulls his mouth away. Only to circle his tongue over your clit and insert another of his fingers inside of you. The ‘come-hither’ motion against your g-spot makes you twitch. He grabs one of your hands, lacing his fingers with yours, and rests it on top of your stomach. It catches your attention, distracting you from the orgasm building up in the pit of your stomach. Just for a second because the second your eyes meet his watchful gaze your moaning his name loudly, letting go.

Wonwoo moans against you, the vibration runs all along your body as he helps you ride out your orgasms, slurping up your release. You taste even better than before and he has to talk himself out of giving you another orgasm with just his mouth. Unless he wants to cum untouched and in his pants, so he pulls away, taking his fingers out. He gently spreads around your release, groaning as you twitch from the overstimulation before standing up, using his mouth to clean up his fingers. 

You look up at him through hooded eyes, breathing heavily and communicating silently. With enough strength you sit up, bringing the rest of your dress over your head and throwing it off to the side. It leaves you completely bare for him. Which of course he knew, the entire time he was with you eating dinner, he couldn’t get the fact that your dress was backless and wearing a bra wouldn’t be ideal. Except seeing his imagination come to life again - this wasn’t the first time seeing you naked - made his cock twitch he had to turn around to keep himself from cumming. 

You laugh. 

“Give me a second baby.” He takes a deep breath, tugging his shirt off, letting it drop to the floor in a feather-like manner. His back muscles make you wetter than what you already were. Images of them contracting every time he thrusts his cock inside of you run wild in your head and embarrassingly you let out a moan. 

Wonwoo turns around, his wide eyes match yours. “Sorry, you’re just sexy.” You cross your legs in front of you and lean over, avoiding his eye contact. 

“Back at you.” He laughs, unbuckling his belt and popping the button of his pants. “Scoot up, lay against the pillows.” He takes his pants off, along with his boxers. You bite your lip to keep yourself from laughing as he hops, trying to keep his balance as he takes his pants off completely and throws them somewhere in his room. He takes a deep breath, placing both of his hands on his hips. 

The laugh that had bubbled up in the back of your throat, runs past your lips faster than you can stop it, earning a glare from him. You roll over onto your side laughing, making him whine. “Stop laughing, I’m trying to have sex with you.” He gets a hold of your hips and lays you down again, settling in between your legs. 

“I’m sorry Woo but that was the least sexiest thing you have ever done.” You sit up, hooking your arms around his neck, kissing the tip of his nose. He scrunches it up, setting his hands on both sides of your hips. 

“Open my drawer.” He smiles, leaving a chaste kiss on your lips, and sits back on his thighs. He wraps his hand around his hard cock, rubbing the bead of precum over his head, spitting, wetting himself even further. You groan, watching him. Wonwoo touching himself was something you would never get tired of. The few streams he left uploaded on his camming account were your biggest companions when Wonwoo wasn’t texting you absolute filth. 

One day you’ll confess to your sin, but not today. So you follow his instructions, lean over and open his bedside drawer. “Grab the lube and condom.” He hisses, running his thumb over the slit of his cock. The sticky residue coats the tip of his finger and once you’re laying down with a condom and half-empty bottle of lube. He brings it up to your lips. You stick your tongue out, wrapping your lips over his finger, groaning. 

“How do I taste?” He smirks, taking the bottle of lube, uncapping it, and squirting a decent amount over your pussy. 

“So good, I want you to fuck my mouth.” You groan as he spreads around the watery substance over your pussy. He chuckles, wiping his hand on his bedsheets, before taking the foil packet and opening it with his teeth. 

“I can arrange that.” He says, rolling the condom over his hard cock, tugging it a few times before tapping the head of his cock against your clit, moving down your lips a few times before aligning himself at your entrance. 

You whimper, “Please, Wonwoo. Fuck me.” You plead. 

“I’ve imagined you saying that for years.” He confesses, pushing in slowly. “It sounds better in person.” 

“Woo- fuck, I-I love you but stop talking.” 

“I’m nervous, I talk when I’m nervous. You know that.” He leans over your body, pushing himself in, bottoming out. He closes his eyes tightly. The feeling of your soft, velvety walls engulfing him is overwhelming. He prays that he can keep himself from cumming earlier than he intends to, but you feel so good he thinks it’s nearly impossible. 

“Don’t move yet.” You whisper, wrapping your arms around his torso. 

“I don’t think I can.” He replies, kissing you. 

It’s gentle at first, both of you whimpering against each other's lips, pleasure building up between the two of you without much effort. Wonwoo feels his self-control come back and gives you an experimental thrust, making you gasp. He groans, inserting his tongue in your mouth, kissing you harder with more intention. 

The fire burns hot between the two of you as he lets go of all his fear and starts to move his hips with desire. Neither of you should’ve waited as long as you did to give yourselves to one another. It feels like you wasted years when you could’ve been having mind-blowing sex with the person you love most in the world. But now that the opportunity had presented itself so nicely, neither of you wanted it to stop. 

“B-Baby hold on.” You place a hand against his chest. He stops his relentless thrusts, panic painted all over his perfect features. You smile, pushing up his glasses that were sliding down his nose, before hooking your leg around his waist. The slight shift made the head of his cock press right against your g-spot. He feels it too when you clench around him, understanding why you stopped him. 

He had so much to learn about your body. Deciding that he will dedicate the rest of his life to finding out different ways to make you come. 

He will start tomorrow, right now all he wants is this. 

“You’re sucking me in, baby.” He pants, pushing his cock into you harder, groaning. He feels so high, on cloud nine, and never wants to come down. Decides that he can live here, buried deep inside of you forever, and be satisfied. 

“Touch my clit, Woo.” You whine, lifting your hips up from the bed, meeting his thrusts midway. He was so big and hard. The stretch was blissful and you never wanted it to stop, even with your orgasm approaching fast and unapologetically. “I’m close.” 

“Me too, I never cum this fast.” He says, circling his thumb over your clit, drawing fast figure eights making you moan. You sound so beautiful. Your wet pussy sounds so beautiful, squelching around his hard cock. He needs to feel you closer than he already does, so he moves a hand underneath your back, sits back on his calves, and helps you sit up. 

You cry out his name, his cock is pressed so deep inside of you, you can feel him everywhere in your body. You roll your hips, throwing your head back. The pit of your stomach gets tight, you're so close Wonwoo can tell. It motivates him to go fast, his thumb pressed against your clit hard and he’s fucking up into you, determined and cautious. Each trust hitting that mushy spot inside of you. It makes you yell. 

“Let go baby girl, I’m so close. Your pussy feels like heaven.” He mulls, wrapping his lips around your nipple and pulling at it gently. The newly added sensation is enough and it sends you over the edge with a loud mantra of his name. It’s a sight he never wants to forget, he engraves into his mind while he helps you ride out your high. 

Wonwoo lays you down again, takes his cock out, and quickly removes his condom, throwing it aside. He leans over you, the tip of his cock just above your belly button as he fucks his hand, repeating your name like it’s the only word he knows. He tugs once more, keeping his eyes on you as he releases. Ropes of cum coat your stomach, his own masterpiece he wishes he could display in a museum. 

When he finally finishes riding out his high and flops down next to you, his legs tangled up in yours. Shyly, you take your finger, taking a bit of his cum and plopping it into your mouth. Wonwoo moans, placing a hand on your cheek, guiding you to his lips. He kisses you hard, both of you moaning at the taste of his seed against your tongue. So he pulls away slightly, picks up more of his cum, coats your lips, and kisses you again, slowly, savoring every second of it. 

You pull away first, panting, moving your tongue across your lips moaning. “I want you to fuck my mouth, Woo.” You run your tongue over his lips, before kissing him again. Wonwoo moans against your lips, pulls you closer, his body against yours. He doesn’t care that his cum is now creating a mess between your bodies. All he wants is to be close to you forever. 

He lays down bringing you on top of him before pulling away again. “Give me five minutes and I promise I’ll fill up that pretty mouth with my cum.” He taps your chin, resting his forehead against yours. 

“I can’t wait.” 

“Careful love.” Wonwoo holds the door to the diner open with his foot. His hand is on your lower back as he guides you inside. This was your idea. Two more rounds, and a quick shower later. You begged him to take you to get M&M pancakes as he had promised two months ago. 

“Wonwoo, stop worrying, I’m not broken, you just fucked me good. I can still walk.” You joke. He rolls his eyes and guides you down the long line of vacant booths. Until he reaches your usual one and helps you sit down before he takes his seat in front of you. He does this on purpose. His libido wasn’t as high as it was in his early twenties, but that theory was immediately thrown out the window when he made you squirt with just his fingers before your shower. 

Now he needs to keep his distance to prevent any inappropriate touches between the two of you. 

“Maya!” You yell, looking around the isolated diner. It’s funny how the last time you sat here, Wonwoo and you had masturbated together in front of a camera, your emotions all over the place. Gaslighting yourself into thinking that what you felt for the boy in front of you was all because he had helped you orgasm. Unaware that that was just the opening to the very real emotions you felt for one another. 

The tables sure had turned. 

“She’s working tonight?” Wonwoo cocks his head to the side, mindlessly folding the paper menu, strategically placed in front of him. 

You nod, “She took too many days off last month because of finals so her boss told her she either works or leaves.” You shrug, tapping your fingers against the surface of the table. “Maya my lovely, beautiful, flaming redhead I want the pancakes you promised me!” You yell again, looking over the bar. 

Wonwoo chuckles and places a hand over yours. “You turn mean after sex.” 

“No, I turn mean when pe-” 

You’re cut off by something falling and breaking behind the bar. You jump and stand up as quickly as possible, Wonwoo following suit. Before you can approach the bar, Maya comes barging through the kitchen door, hair disheveled lipstick smudged. Behind her Soonyoung comes out, shirt on backward, pants unbuttoned. 

You and Wonwoo laugh, making the other couple groan in annoyance. 

“Babe it looks like I wasn’t the only one getting my back blown out tonight.” You wink at Maya who rolls her eyes, brushing you off. 

“Shut up or I’ll make you pay for all the free shit I gave you.” 

“Go ahead.” You eye Wonwoo, sending him a kiss. “I got money to spare.”

[dasher85]

7. Reminiscing

A sequence from  Inexpressible

Kamisato Ayato X Reader | you | y/n

Recommended to read the other parts

Sequence: 7

If excluding his exceptional success and busy schedule, the head of Yashiro Commission, Kamisato Ayato’s life was actually just similar to that of an ordinary life. Perhaps such power and responsibility for the position would be the force that has been locking him into place. Unable to accomplish beyond the things he truly desire.

‘That is the difference between you and him.’

--------------------------

A snippet:

His fingers traced the edges, before finally opening to a new blank page. A dried cherry blossom petal flew out from in between the pages. Ayato reflexively caught the petal before it falls to the floor. A sigh of relief emanates from the depths of his heart. He then opened the pages that belongs to the petal, then carefully placed it back. He knew everything about the notebook. Aside from his own work, there was your drawings, handwriting, cherry blossom petals that happened to get stuck in between your hair, the notes he'd wrote about you but most importantly was the letters you've given to him. There was too many things that he'd want to preserve, especially the precious letters that he has carefully kept in between the pages. If there was a day he'd lost it, he'd probably just sob and cry. Even if he doesn't, nobody can tell how miserable he would feel.

The room was quiet, only occasionally footsteps could be heard from outside. Perhaps it was the servants, preparing for the upcoming night. The sun was sinking for the day, birds flew back to their nests and the soft breeze moving the curtains to reveal the natural orange horizon. Ayato's hand quickly writes down the sentence for today's last report and yet managed to maintain a neat handwriting. He has yet to prepare himself for dinner and that's something he has been taking very seriously. That includes the other two important meals in a day. Although, there's a few more hours before dinner time, somehow it only felt natural to him. Time management wasn't something he couldn't handle, in fact he could be considered to be one of the best when it comes to timing. Every schedules for work was perfectly arranged which indeed helped him to efficiently get the job done. However, he didn't actually add eating time and rest time in between the schedules. All he thinks about was 'get the job done' and that's it. It doesn't matter what he will become just to achieve that. Only recently did he diligently has been working in a more balanced way. Including a little bit of leisurely moments in between the chaotic turbulence of political affairs. Perhaps due to someone's influence, he has unconsciously adapted the same habit. A clear glass jar of cookies, slightly reflected the light from outside. The light reflecting into his peripheral vision. He quickly took the half emptied jar and moved it to the left side of his table. He briefly glanced at it before finally continued with his report. A small smile suddenly forms on his lips. Certainly one would find it a little odd but thankfully he was all alone inside that spacious office room. The word of someone who insists on only eating a few pieces of cookies within a day has been transpired in his mind. There were many secrets and promises he could easily keep but that particular rule was the only one he couldn't help but break. Perhaps he has just realized that sugar can amplify one's brain to be more efficient even after long hours of work. He did try to eat just one piece a day because it was the last jar but it's already been three months. Somehow the cookies would spoil even before he could savor all of it. Hence, eating it would be more meaningful rather than wasting it. Dinner time was quite eventful. Ever since he decided to use more of his time to include and actually participate into eating the main meals in a day, Ayaka has been quite pleased with it. She wouldn't need to eat alone in silence. Although most occasions Thoma would join in but he would usually be running on errands too. Perhaps following such habits from someone really did give him the benefit. At least, life didn't felt empty, or returned to the way it usually was. "Brother, do you want to me to prepare you some cookies for your late night work?" He smiled at the statement. "No need, I still have plenty" He has long acknowledged that, he knew you'd do just that but Ayaka doesn't need to do it in your stead. There is no doubt that his younger sister would perhaps bake a better version of her own batch of cookies, however it still wouldn't be the same. The heart's desire is indeed beyond a human's control, even Ayato himself is swayed by such force. He is after all still a human being. The night was still long even after he has finished today's duties. His eyes opened yet again, unable to sleep. After a while of blankly staring straight to the ceiling, he decides to do something instead. Perhaps he was so used to sleeping late at night, it has somehow changed his sleep schedules. He sat down and went on taking a book inside the left side of his drawer compartment. Nothing special, just a thick notebook he'd been using for quite awhile. Zephyr was the book's name, at least that's what he has named it. There were still so many unused blank pages but he has been keeping this book and has stopped bringing it with him during work outside of the estate. His fingers traced the edges, before finally opening to a new blank page. A dried cherry blossom petal flew out from in between the pages. Ayato reflexively caught the petal before it falls to the floor. A sigh of relief emanates from the depths of his heart. He then opened the pages that belongs to the petal, then carefully placed it back. He knew everything about the notebook. Aside from his own work, there was your drawings, handwriting, cherry blossom petals that happened to get stuck in between your hair, the notes he'd wrote about you but most importantly was the letters you've given to him. There was too many things that he'd want to preserve, especially the precious letters that he has carefully kept in between the pages. If there was a day he'd lost it, he'd probably just sob and cry. Even if he doesn't, nobody can tell how miserable he would feel. He has read only one out of all the letters, diligently following the instructions you've said before. There was a set of numbers on each of the white colored envelopes which helps him to read in a sequence without opening the seal. 'To Mr. Blue hair' , 'To Mr. Tall man' , 'To Mr. Cookies' That was the one of many different 'To: ' you've nicknamed him. Not even once did you used his actual name. "I can't believe I've never asked for her signature" He still laughs at it even after he had already read it for a few times. To this day, he has yet to ask why you didn't give him any cute names but of course, he didn't mind it at all. In fact, he actually enjoyed such unexpected nicknames. However, the contents of written letters were something he could consider a different side of you. A side of you that perhaps, can only be conveyed through these words within a letter. 'Have you ever gazed at the brightest star over the northern horizon?' 'I've always want to scribble your face with ink whenever you're talking nonsense' 'Your work mode self was charming indeed' 'Remember to read the 5th volume!' These were one of those things you've written, describing everything. That one letter was 3 pages long which was quite lengthy. Nevertheless, Ayato has actually read this letter way too many times. This time, it's probably the seventh time.  He has actually bought the 5th volume ever since it's first release but he wasn't able to finish it yet. He still needs to read two more books. He glanced at the book collections at the right side of his room. A shelf of books, neatly arranged. Some where mostly work related but another part of the shelf was dedicated just for the books you've written. Perhaps one has yet to admit that he was a hardcore fan himself. He stood up and decides to continue reading the part he has previously left. Surely as the Commissioner he was struggling to spare some of his time for reading stories but it's your book. There's no other reasons needed, if he couldn't even do this then what value does he have to be yours. "and I'm gonna miss you, I would never lie" He reads the protagonist's dialogue overly too in character. It was as if he was just expressing his own emotions. The tone and the facial expression was exactly on point. One could drag him into an acting competition and he'd win. Still, only the heart owner would knows if it was actually true.

---------------------------

A/N: It was so much fun to write more into his perspective but most importantly making him a bit helpless is rather interesting. Too bad Teyvat didn’t have smartphones... no facetime, no phone calls...

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n, tommy, wilbur and phil

requested: yes/no

an: part 7 of the great adventures series - a rollercoaster of emotions

warnings: cursing, jokes about death (like the vlog) , didn’t proof read as its 6am sorry for any mistakes

it had been around a week since you last spoke to tubbo, the pair of you got into a heated argument and honestly you didn’t want to be anywhere near the boy. no one heard from you since you and tubbo blocked each other, ranboo would talk to you about how you need to forgive and forget and Tommy would do the same to tubbo eventually you unblocked each other however apart from that it was pretty much useless neither of you were willing to talk to the other person, it was just one of those things that needed time, soon enough you’d be friends again. at least you hoped that would be the case. later that day Wilbur sent you a message asking what time he should pick you up tomorrow not wanting to argue you let him know a time and went off to get ready for the night.

The car ride to Alton towers was pretty quiet the majority of the ride was spent playing random car games like eye spy or singing along to the radio as there was no traffic you got there rather quickly giving you longer in the park. you loved theme parks and Tommy knew this so he took the opportunity to invite you and get you out of the house, he also knew he would need the support. Phil began recording as you all made your way through the park the sky car was first so you could get to the other half of the park Tommy made it pretty clear he wasn’t the biggest fan of this and you and Wilbur didn’t help his cause by discussing the recent crash in Italy that killed a group of people, you pointed out all the rides you passed teasing Tommy whilst Wilbur interviewed him on why he wanted to hit 10 million subs, as soon as Tommy mentioned the girl from college your eyes widened and you sat trying not to laugh as Wilbur and Phil sat telling him to call her. Tommy looked at you trying to get back up but you responded by telling him you want to speak to her.

once off the sky car you stood with an arm around Tommy's shoulders as Wilbur spoke to the girl who you’re hoping is in on it and that they’re not calling up the poor girl unexpectedly. as soon as you were informed that her favourite ride was the smiler Tommy pulled you into a hug hiding his face in the crook of your neck

“Are you serious”

“you’ll be fine it’s the safest ride here...if you ignore the crash”

“y/nnnnn”

the four of you walked around the park looking for an easy rollercoaster as you make your way up to the smiler, the blade caught Wilbur's eye so the three of you made your way whilst Phil decided to stay back to record, you sat next to Tommy reassuring him that he’s going to be fine and how it can’t be that bad as a family with a young child got on the ride after you.

“if I pee myself will you laugh at me”

“yes..actually that’ll make it easier for me”

“Please don’t do that Wilbur”

“only for you y/n”

the ride started slowly however the speed soon picked up you sat laughing as Tommy went on to make references about technoblade and how he’s never going to die. soon enough the three of you began ‘singing’ the lyrics to road trip in an attempt to calm down a little bit. was it working? no. a few minutes later the ride came to an end as you made your way off of the ride you heard a child screaming about how fun it was

“awe”

“how is that six-year-old shouting I loved it”

“are we cowards”

“yes, yes you are”

you made it to Phil first and rambled on about how fun it was before Wilbur and Tommy made it to you both wanting to go home

on your journey to the next ride, Tommy pointed out claw machines and dragged you to them, Phil had a go first and didn’t win the dog Tommy wanted, you had a go determined to win however like Phil you didn’t win

“This is bullshit ill buy you a toy dog”

“Why are you never satisfied”

“Good question”

you walked away from the machines with the others Tommy complained that he was being forced to go on the rides, you pointed at the smiler and Wilbur announced you could all go on that now, the rest of the walk was pretty quiet after that. soon enough you were in the queue to go on duel, you were walking with Phil not realising that Wilbur was currently telling your best friend that he was going to die, the only reason you found out was because Tommy ran up to you asking if he was going to die

“Tommy, no who told you that... Wilbur stop laughing it’s not- it’s not funny”

“y/n you’re quite literally laughing”

you put your finger on your lips and walked off. you sat with Phil so you could have a break from Tommy screaming in your ear as soon as Tommy yelled there were guns the ride began, you weren’t the best at this ride you missed the target a few too many times than you’d like to admit, once the ride was over Tommy made the mistake of laughing about how low your score was you made eye contact with Tommy and placed your hand on his shoulder

“Tommy... you screamed at everything the entire way around. if that ride was any longer i’m afraid I’d lose my hearing”

“didn’t you also do shit Tommy”

“fuck off”

and with that you left the ride walking through the gift shop, you and Tommy were like little children picking up anything that was covered in bright colours, you and Tommy found a squishy monster and named it Clarence you ended up getting attached and Wilbur stayed with you as you paid for it whilst Phil and Tommy were leaving the shop

“Phil we lost y/n and Wilbur”

“sorry y/n got distracted”

you all continued walking to the next ride Tommy instantly got distracted by the dryer outside of the river rapids ride and spent a good few minutes asking to go into the dryer. at this point, you noticed another toy shop and ran off to that one whilst they argued with Tommy about the dryer a few minutes later you met up with them again as you began making your way to the next ride

“what I hate the most about Phil is his kindness”

“wasn’t kind enough to let me win on duel”

“I pray on his downfall”

Phil turned to you only to be met with you nodding as Tommy goes on to talk about hating his generosity

“Phil I've been thinking about you... it’s ruined my day”

“mine was ruined by Tommy screaming at stupid o clock in the morning”

“y/n it’s 12 pm”

“okay and I usually wake up at 3 pm this is early for me”

you stood in the queue for river rapids, as much as you wanted to make Tommy calm down you hated this ride and Wilbur saying there was a chance of drowning made you hate it even more

“y/n will we be fine”

“no this is horrifying I remember the incident where someone was dragged under a ride like this”

“Y/N”

“what are you two thinking about then”

“I’m thinking about the beyond”

“I’m thinking about the sweet release of death”

“you might be going there”

“no, we won’t”

you and Tommy began to panic as you got closer to the ride, Tommy announced the floor was moving which tricked your brain into believing that the floor was moving, Wilbur was still talking about you all dying in a few minutes whilst laughing at Phil trying to make him stop despite the fact he was clearly laughing. Tommy got on first as you were making your way to a seat Tommy pulled you over to him so you were sat together. a worker came over and told you all to keep your seat during the ride

“can I get off”

as soon as you finished your sentence the ride began to move making the others laugh

“ill take that as a no”

a few minutes later you forgot you were scared as you were too busy laughing about the fact that so far out of the four of you the only person getting drenched in water was Phil. this newfound confidence didn't last long the ride began going faster and you and Tommy got drenched in water

“We made it through the second most dangerous part”

“heh...”

you looked at Phil tilting your head waiting for him to confirm that Wilbur was just trying to scare you again. your thoughts were interrupted by Wilbur beginning to speak to the camera

“Alton towers is a very safe and risk-free theme park fun for all the family”

he flipped the camera so the three of you could be seen Phil was laughing Tommy had his head in his hands and you were sat with your hood over your head hiding your face so you couldn’t see what was going to happen. Phil told you to hold on but he was interrupted by Wilbur using the camera to record the four of you together again it was clear you and Tommy were not having the most fun on the ride compared to the others. the ride crashed into the small wall next to the ride causing it to jerk forward making the four of you hit your leg

“my fucking thigh”

“y/n there are children nearby”

“y/n, Tommy you two are lucky to be alive”

you and Tommy turned to face each other then looked back at Wilbur who was continuing to chant that you’re lucky to be alive clearly ignoring Phil who was telling him to stop. eventually, the ride came to an end and you all got off, Phil helped you walk around for a minute as your legs felt extremely weak after that ride

“you okay now y/n”

“yeah yeah thank you, Phil. I'm never going on that ride again”

you all made your way to the centre of the park Wilbur disappeared as you and Tommy stood begging Phil for cotton candy, your only argument being that you really wanted it

“please Phil”

“We can have a little”

“we’re growing Phil we need more than a little”

“it’s diabetes in a box”

“it’s pure joy”

“yeah it’s fun in a box let us get some”

“stop being a dick”

Wilbur came running out of a shop carrying as much cotton candy as he could shouting for you and Tommy to take some and run which you gladly did. the pair of you sat on the grass eating as much cotton candy as you could

“ITS BLUEBERRY”

“that is so sugary”

you and Tommy both grabbed a fistful of cotton candy waving it at the two adults in front of you both, resulting in Phil calling you both goblins, they both walked away leaving you two to enjoy each other’s company for a little while whilst they had a break from the pair of you screaming.

“that’s..that's Tommy and y/n”

it was almost time to face the smiler but before that, you had to conquer oblivion again this was another ride that terrified you but Tommy's reaction to the ride made you laugh for a good few minutes until you realised you were in the queue

“oh fuck. we are going to die”

“you’ll impress the girl and y/n you’ll impress tubbo”

“ill buy her flowers”

“This is a death trap” you went on first and sat a few seats away from the middle Tommy not far behind you

“if we die ill never forgive you”

“you’ll be fine”

“will we though”

“I mean”

“Tommy she was hesitant to answer that get me off this ride”

just like last time the ride started just as you finished trying to get off the ride

“y/n you really need to stop asking to get off the rides it makes them start earlier”

the way to the top of the ride was mainly just you and Tommy yelling curse words trying to stay calm

“Phil do we have to”

“Why could I not stay with Wilbur”

“awe look at the view”

“can we just stay up here- oh shit don’t look down”

“any last words”

“lovely knowing you all”

just before the ride was about to go down the drop Tommy grabbed your hand only letting go for a minute whilst you got off of the ride, as soon as you were making your way to Wilbur so you could all go on the spinball wizard ride he held your hand again keeping you close. your way to the ride was a range of Wilbur telling you all about the smiler or Tommy telling you all he was worried he was going to piss

“what the fuck is yours and Wilburs obsession with announcing you might piss on the ride”

you sat with Wilbur for this ride as he was the only person you hadn’t sat with yet and Tommy sat behind you both, you and Wilbur spent the ride screaming, yelling song lyrics or saying your goodbyes

“for lmanburg”

“Should I be worried.. you did you know create an explosion”

you spent the rest of the ride laughing before it came to an end. you all made your way to the smiler making jokes about how it’s all the girl from college wants to see him on.

“you ready Tommy”

“let’s go home”

“no”

“y/n you’re supposed to be on my team”

the four of you made your way through the gates ignoring Tommy who was yelling about it being a prison simulator, you sat at the end next to Tommy

“so this is safe”

“apart from the crashes yeah”

“y/n? is it safe?”

“it’s safe Tommy I can see you’re genuinely scared I wouldn’t lie in a time like this..maybe”

you and Wilbur agreed to become his wingmen and a few seconds later the ride began, you spent the ride laughing quietly as Tommy began confessing his love

“POGCHAMP”

“I WISH I SAT SOMEWHERE ELSE”

as soon as the ride ended you stood as a group again and called the girl from college, Wilbur practically yelled about how Tommy went on the smiler only for the girl to ask who Tommy was and how she wasn’t friends with him

“it’s okay mate”

“you okay Tommy”

you and Wilbur pulled Tommy into a hug.

a few minutes later you all made your way back to the car park as it was getting late. once in the car you handed Tommy the squishy monster you both named Clarence, Tommy screamed whilst pulling you into a hug before asking you how and when you were able to buy it. when you were halfway home you began to get a migraine Tommy pulled you into a side hug so you could rest your head on his shoulder and have a nap for the rest of the journey back home.

a few days late you received a message

tubbo: I miss you

y/n: I suppose I miss you too

tubbo: that’s good because I’m outside please let me inside

y/n: on it!!

taglist:

@l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @c1loudee

[samuel-de-champagne-problems]

Right Where You Left Me

Summary: Y/N never expected to see him again. He tore her heart out and left her in the dusty heat of a Las Vegas diner. She never wanted to see him again, but sometimes the heart wants what heart wants.

Word Count: 3.7k

Author's Note: This is the first prompt that I wrote for 400 followers and it is based on Right Where You Left Me. Some background info: Spencer and Reader (Female pronouns) were lovers when they were 23, Spencer left to join the FBI and Y/N never recovered.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

Content Warning: Angst till the very end, one use of f--k, reader cuts her hand on glass so blood is mentioned.

Right Where You Left Me

2009, Enterprise Diner, Las Vegas, Nevada

The bell above the door always sounds the same, no matter who walks into the little diner. Whether it’s exhausted truckers looking for a cheap cup of coffee or lonely souls looking to be a little less lonely for even an hour, the bell’s chime is always the same.

From the first time she met Spencer Reid, Y/N knew that boy was destined for greatness. His greatness is exceptionally painful when it juxtaposes her intense ordinariness. Part of her always dreams of the bell ringing and telling her that he’s back. He’s back and would no longer just haunting her dreams. But he isn’t back. He isn’t back and she’s right where he left her.

Y/N wipes the counter with a worn napkin, noticing how her skin is cracked from her fingertips to the butt of her palms. The bell rings and Y/N picks up her head. An elderly couple walks in holding hands. It’s amazing to her, to be that old and that in love. She wonders what it would be like to have the kind of love that you’ll never run out of things to say. If her past has taught her anything, Y/N tells herself she’s not the kind of girl that gets a lifelong romance. She’s not the kind of girl that gets someone who gets her.

She’s the kind of girl that’s frozen in the place right where he left her.

September 2012, Enterprise Diner, Las Vegas, Nevada

“One of these is not like the other,” Sabrina says in a singsong kind of voice. She walks out from behind the counter, finished with her shift. She wishes Y/N good night before she leaves the diner, telling her to lock up and handle the clean up. The busboy makes his way to the table of men with two kinds of coffee, decaf and regular, in her hands. Y/N follows, rolling her eyes, behind with three coffee mugs.

Apparently, there is a missing child case and the FBI has gotten involved. The two men, dressed intimidatingly in black suits and gray ties, looked very different from the younger man who sat across from them. It only took her a second to recognize that face. It’s the face of all her dreams that at one point was just out of reach. But now it’s just the face of rejection and hurt.

Before she even realizes it, the coffee mug that Y/N holds in her hand drops and shatters on the floor. The men, even vigilant, turn towards the noise. Y/N wanting to disappear into the night, drops to the floor to clean up the glass. She hears a shuffle from the booth and in comes a pair of well-worn converse into her field of vision.

“Here,” he says, his voice just soft and steady as ever, “let me, Y/N,”

Y/N drops the glass like it burns her. But in reality, she’s trying to get as far away as possible from Spencer, because she knows if she touches him again, she’ll never be able to survive letting go.

Spencer.

Spencer Reid crouches down before her just inches from her face all these years later. It seems unbelievable to see him in the flesh, but it’s him, even if he looks a little older and a little sadder.

“Thank you. I’m going to get you a new cup. I remember how much you love coffee,” Y/N whispers, wishing again that she could turn into the wind and disappear.

Y/N tries to ignore the way Spencer’s co-workers eye him when he returns to the seat. Clutching the pieces of glass, Y/N cuts her thumb. The dark red blood rushes out and she can feel her pulse rise. She wraps a white cloth over the cut. By the time she gets to Spencer’s table, the blood has pooled to the surface. She places the cups on the table, turning to leave, but a strong, yet gentle hand grasps her elbow.

“You’re bleeding?” Spencer says, his voice ends on a high note like he’s asking her more than telling her.

“Yeah, it’s fine Spencer. I’ll take care of it later, it’s just-”

“Let me help you,” he says, the two men, his co-workers, share a thoughtful glance. Y/N has the sneaking suspicion that they can read her mind or very much close to it.

She narrows her eyes at Spencer as her thumb pulsates and the blood soaked napkin grows even more red.

“Last time I checked you’re not a real doctor,” Y/N says, the venom in her voice all too apparent. The man sitting across from Spencer with the kinder eyes puts his hands up in defeat.

“What the hell is going on here? Do you know her or something, Spencer?” he says, his confusion about who Y/N is growing into frustration by the second. The man sitting next to the man with the kind eyes doesn’t say much. Y/N expects that he’s soaking in the entire interaction or is too tired to care about his co-worker’s personal drama.

“Huh, you didn’t think it would be a good idea to tell you FBI friends about me, Spencer? Huh, can I say that I’m not surprised by that at all,” Y/N responds, fumbling with managing to pour the coffee and covering her cut with the napkin.

“Please, Y/N you’re being ridiculous, let me help you,” Spencer asks or rather, begs Y/N. Y/N tries to not let him know how much it affects her when he rubs his thumb on the crook of her elbow.

“Fine, make it quick Spencer, I’m closing up tonight and I want to get home soon,” Y/N says, walking away from the table before Spencer can even get the chance to get up from the booth.

Y/N is too far past the booth to hear Spencer whisper to his co-workers that he’ll find his own way back to the hotel. She runs her thumb under the running water, watching as the blood clears up, revealing her clean finger. Y/N can feel Spencer’s looming presence behind her. She can smell his cologne and thinks if he cans any closer she’d be able to feel his body heat.

“You’re not supposed to be back here, Spencer,” Y/N says, she knows she’s being short and clippy with Spencer, but she supposes that should be expected, considering how he left her all those years ago.

“That never stopped me, or you for that matter before,” Spencer says, taking a step forward. His hand comes up to gently hold Y/N’s. She can feel his fingertips on her skin for the first time in years. Y/N has to close her eyes to focus on anything but how close Spencer’s body is to her’s. It’s restraint in it’s finest.

“Things have changed, Spencer. People have changed,” Y/N says, she doesn’t make a move that tells Spencer she doesn’t like him touching her. Spencer, whose hands have a slight tremor as they hold Y/N’s, practices an equal amount of restraint as Y/N does. He has to stop the thoughts of what it would be like to feel his hand against her hand again or how she’d sound if he could muster up the courage to kiss her again. He can’t even think of the first place he’d want to kiss her if he had the chance again.

“I’ve changed, Y/N, I’ve changed,” Spencer says, knowing fully that he’s pleading with the girl whose heart he broke 7 years ago.

“I have a hard time believing that one, Spencer. You were always the exception to the rule, whether you liked it or not,” she tells him. Her voice has lost all venom. It’s bare to the world without any weapons to wield.

“Let me fix you up and I’ll be out of your life again,” He says, still holding on to her wrist, still holding on to hope.

Y/N nods and tells him where he can find the first aid kit. She watches as he reaches up to the top shelf and carefully places the kit on the counter. Y/N holds out her hand as Spencer takes an alcohol wipe to her wound. He grimaces more than she does, afraid that somehow, all these years later, he’s still causing her pain. What he doesn’t know is that his touch stings more than the strongest rubbing alcohol in existence.

“So,” Spencer starts, hating that there’s silence between the two of them, when a decade ago that would have been impossible, “how’ve you been?”

“I’m good, Spence, I’ve been good. All I ever wanted was a quiet life, and I guess that’s what I got,” Y/N says, Spencer knows her answer is cordial. It's an answer that you give when you really don’t want to give an answer.

“That’s good, Y/N. I’m happy for you,” Spencer says, he doesn’t realize that he’s been rubbing his thumb against Y/N palm until she reaches into the first aid kit and tosses a band-aid at him. Spencer blushes slightly, but thinks that he’s not offending her too much since he’s still at the diner.

“What about you, Spence? Did you ever find uh….someone that could…” Y/N says, her voice trailing off, too afraid to finish the sentence herself, but aware that Spencer is probably the only person on Earth that could fill in the blanks. He was always good like that, he could always fill in her blanks and make sense of her senseless.

“Find someone, like a wife?” Spencer asks, the blush returning to his cheeks, “no, Y/N I’m not married. Are..are you? Do you have, um, a husband?” Spencer asks, hating the way that he stumbles over the word “husband” like it’s a dirty word. Though he supposes that it is a dirty word when Y/N’s husband is not synonymous with Spencer Reid.

“God no, Spence. I couldn’t not after, you know,” Y/N says, again letting Spencer fill in the blanks and hoping beyond belief that he’d pick up the pieces too. Spencer looks over at where his co-workers sat when they were working, he can't say he’s disappointed to see that they are gone.

“I never really apologized for what I said to you, Y/N. I know that I’ll never make it up to you, but..”

“It’s okay, Spencer. You didn’t say anything that wasn’t true, I’m just a waitress. And you, god. You are you. How could I ever think that I’d get a happily ever after with someone like you,” Y/N says, brushing past Spencer to collect the coffee mugs from the table.

“Please Y/N don’t believe that for a second,” Spencer says, his voice full of pain and regret.

Y/N thinks about the times that she would dream of seeing him again. She can’t remember if she’d rather him to be sorry or if she'd rather him rush back to her and sweep her off her feet again with a love confession that rivals the greatest stories ever told. But then again, waitresses don’t get knights in shining armor. Especially when those knights wear sweater vests, despite being in law enforcement. Spencer always loved facts, and he told it to her in a few more words than necessary, people like Spencer Reid don’t end up with people like Y/N Y/LN.

“You still think too highly of me, even after I hurt you, I can’t apologize enough for what I did to you,” Spencer says, hanging his head low. His hair, that’s grown much longer, falls into place over his eyes, as if it’s shielding Spencer from Y/N.

“Did you come here tonight thinking I’d be here? Did a part of you still want to see me?” Y/N asks, she wants to reach out and touch Spencer’s hand, she wants to reach out and feel that his hand is still the same hand that would caress her face and make all her worries vanish. But it’s hard when that hand is attached to the man who destroyed you.

“I didn’t think you’d still work here, Y/N. You always hated living in the desert. Remember how we talked of getting a place somewhere cold where you can see the snow, but still be warm-”

“And safe inside? Yeah, Spencer, I remember that. But that was our dream, how can I still want that when it’s tainted by you,” Y/N spits, walking towards the last booth in the row. She plops down, sinking into the plastic covered cushion. Spencer, nervously, sits down next to her. He doesn’t say anything, knowing how Y/N’s bated breath and tapping foot tell him she’s going to unleash 7 years of pent of hatred and frustration. And somehow, 7 years of desire and want and love.

“I lied Spencer,” Y/N says, looking down at the table. “I lied. I hate it here, you’re right. God, why are you always right?” She smiles wickedly and Spencer has to tell himself to not give way to his emotions. He needs to let Y/N finally release her justified anger onto him.

“You moved on, Spencer. You moved on and I’m right where you left me,” Y/N’s strained voice is perhaps noise that Spencer knows will haunt his nightmares, “It’s like I’m a ghost of that girl I was when I was 23, waiting for someone who’s moved on. Waiting for you, but god, no one wants to love someone so fucking pathetic,”

Spencer wants to react, he wants to reach out a kiss away Y/N tears that fall down her cheeks. He wants to make her pain go away, but how can he when he’s her pain. Spencer knew he never wanted to end up like his father, yet sitting in that corner booth watching Y/N cry, Spencer realizes he’s his father’s son. Spencer realizes that he ran away from the best thing that ever happened to him, when thought he got a better opportunity.

“I never moved on Y/N,” Spencer says, reaching down inside himself for the courage to tenderly hold Y/N’s hands in his own. Even all these years later, her hand still feels the same inside his.

“I’ve thought about you every single day of my life. It’s a curse, Y/N, not being able to forget how much I hurt you. As much as I try, I’ll never be able to erase the look on your face when I told you--”

“When you told me I wasn’t good enough,” Y/N finished for him. It looks like she can fill in his blanks as well as he can fill in her’s.

“I didn’t mean it, Y/N. I didn’t mean it and I know that you’ll never look at me the same way, but I’ve never stopped loving you, Y/N. I’ll never stop loving you,” Spencer says, he’s sobbing at this point. The tears trail down his face and his skin in blotchy red.

“Spencer,” Y/N says quietly, like she’s trying to control the mix of passion and fury that threatens to take control of her, “I need to get this out without interruptions, so just please listen to me,”

Spencer nods and tries his best to not react when Y/N reaches down to his lap and takes her hands into his. He tries to hold in the emotions that split seems in his not-so tough exterior.

“I created a fantasy for you Spencer. I gave you the life that I could never give you. In my head you had kids because I needed you to be deliriously happy. I gave you a wife and I hated her because I love you too much to hate you. I needed you to have the life that I couldn’t give you, because it beats thinking you’re a mess. It beats thinking you ended up like me,” Y/N professes.

Spencer brings his hands up to her cheeks wiping away the tears that fall rapidly. Even the time he was kidnapped, the countless of times he was beaten or held hostage, his heart never ached quite like this. His heart never yearned to soothe someone’s pain as it did when Spencer watched Y/N come to terms with the years and years of heartbreak Spencer left her in.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” Spencer says, his fingers lacing through Y/N’s pinned up hair, “I hated myself for years for doing what I did to you. I knew that there was no one else, there’s no one else for me, Y/N,”

Y/N’s cheek presses up against Spencer’s chest, his warm body is home and is spicy, yet sweet cologne the closest thing to paradise. She tries to get control over her breathing, trying to steady it and not slobber too much over Spencer’s soft shirt. His hands anchor her to him. They latch on to her elbows, begging her silently to not shove him off and kick him to the curb, even though it’s what he deserves.

“Oh god Spencer. You really still are my Spencer, aren’t you?” Y/N asks, her voice slightly muffled by Spencer’s chest. She can hear his heart beat, even now, it’s still in sync with her heart beat. After all these years, between all these miles, throughout all this pain, Y/N’s heart still beats for Spencer’s.

“I don’t wanna lose you again, Y/N,” Spencer says, the tears back on his face, some have dried slightly and new ones make their way down and pool onto the back of Y/N’s head. Spencer brushes his fingers against Y/N, making sure that he’s actually holding her in his arms in this little diner he thought he’d left in the past.

“Please don’t hurt me again, Spencer. I love you too much to lose you again, but I can’t get hurt like that. I can’t bear to do that again,” Y/N says, raising her head to look at Spencer in the eyes.

She can see the glistening tears that fall down his face and the way his gaze softens when his eyes latch on to her. They could spend hours drinking each other in, making up for the lost years. She searches his face, finding new age lines and wrinkles, and maybe even a gray hair or two. But underneath all that, he’s still Spencer.

“I though our love was dead, Spencer. I thought I had my chance real young and the rest of my life was going to be spent haunting this booth, waiting for a man that in my delusions was married to a wife that wasn’t me and with kids that aren’t mine. But good God, Spencer, you really are too much sometimes?” Y/N says, her voice breathy and exasperated as she leans in close to Spencer.

“Can I take that as a yes?” Spencer says, terrified for her answer, even though he knew it already, based on how deeply Y/N looks into his eyes.

Y/N is quiet, and even though it’s just a moment it feels like forever. They are so quiet that all they can hear is their heartbeats. The little diner where their fateful love story took flight is never quiet, yet in that moment you can hear a hair pin drop. Spencer counts the seconds that pass, reading Y/N’s eyes, reading her emotion, and praying to a God he’s not sure is real that she’s not going to leave him this time.

“Yes, Spencer. I love you too much to let you walk out here again,” Y/N says, leaning into Spencer’s face.

She bridges the gap that they’ve both been ignoring since they realized they were in each other’s company again. Spencer is still when she leans in, he doesn’t realize until her soft lips kiss him how much he’s missed her. Before his mind is able to run off the far away places called doubt and denial, Y/N wraps her arms around Spencer’s neck, hooking him in closer. Having each other so close has never made them feel so utterly helpless and giddy. Spencer feels like he needs to tether himself to Y/N’s because he still feels like she’s going to float away. The world was dizzying and Spencer was the only solid, strong thing, holding her to Earth. Y/N always knew he was her anchor, it was just a matter of time before Spencer realized it too. Spencer’s quiet whimpers and shaky tremors spurred her on, kissing up and down the openness of his face until she felt the need for air.

“You’ve been practicing? You’re better at this than when you were 23,” Y/N says, not wanting to let go of Spencer’s neck.

“No, God no, Y/N. I haven’t been with anyone since you,” Spencer says, slightly ashamed to be reminded of his deepest mistake.

“Spencer, baby, you know I forgive you, right? And considering you kiss like that now, I know how you can make it up to me,” Y/N says, planting a couple light, feathery kisses up Spencer’s neck and to the corners of his mouth. Her lips are like a paintbrush on his, turning the grimace he holds into a winning smile. He remembers that it’s near impossible for him to not be flustered near Y/N. He’s glad, even now, that still rings true.

“Thank you, Y/N,” Spencer says, he leans his forehead against Y/N’s and lifts her hands to his mouth, kissing each of her fingers as he says “you are enough, and I’ll hope you’ll let me spend the rest of my life making it up to you,”

Y/N kisses Spencer on the nose as he scrunches it, causing her to laugh. She slips out of the booth and holds a hand out for Spencer to grasp. He takes it without hesitation and pulls her in closer. She supposes that after being apart for so long, it would take some time to get back into their rhythm. Y/N knows that it will never be the same; they aren’t 23 years old anymore. They’re scared and wounded, but together, Y/N thinks that they’ll never run out of things to talk about even if they are old and gray and wrinkled.

THANK-YOU FOR READING :) <3 <3

I really appreciate every like, comment, and reblog. It helps me know what people like about my writing things I should work on.

TAGLIST

@shemarmooresfedora

@april-14-blog

@willowrose99

@calm-and-doctor

@spideygenius

@measure-in-pain

@nomajdetective

@spencerreid9

@saspencereid

@laurakirsten0502

[sunrisefairy]

i’m sorry the way u did my last request was SO GOOD i just had to ask for another. could you do one with charlie weasley as a care of magical creatures prof and he finally gets with the professor he’s been flirting with? you write spicy fics so well i cant even

omg stop, ur making me blush. I had fun with this one! 

NSFW 18+ below the cut

You told yourself no boys this year, no distractions, you vowed that this year you’d focus on your career; Dumbledore had given you a position at Hogwarts and you were ecstatic and determined to make him proud. You didn’t think it would be too hard, to have a year free of boys, the male professors at Hogwarts weren’t exactly eye candy. That was until you met the new care of magical creature’s professor, damn that Charlie Weasley.

He was handsome, no argument about it, his rugged good looks and charming, sweet personality had your panties dripping whenever he was in close proximity (even the mere thought of his strong arms and those long fingers had your core throbbing) not that you would ever tell him that.

Charlie Weasley seem to make it his mission to make you flustered, within the first 10 minutes of your initial introduction he told you how breath taking your eyes were and how gorgeous his name sounded when it fell from your lips. You obviously blushed at this and brushed the comments under the rug, assuming he was just being cheeky and kind and didn’t mean anything by it. However, Charlie made very clear he found you attractive and having to endure months of his shameless flirting was proving to be very difficult to ignore the sexual tension between the two of you.

You stared down at the pile of forgotten essays on your desk, your mind was elsewhere, and you couldn’t seem find the concentration to focus on grading them right now. Your brain was preoccupied but a certain gorgeous redheaded wizard. You imagined his rough fingers and how they would feel against your skin, unbuttoning your blouse slowly and teasing your nipples, would he be soft and gentle and caress your breasts or would he prefer to be rough and pinch and tug at your skin? You bit your lip at the thought, arousal already pooling in your panties. It had been too long since you last had sex and you were beginning to grow frustrated and desperate for it.

“Thinking about me again, love?” you’re snapped from your thoughts and immediately clench your thighs at the sight before you. Charlie was leaning against the door frame of your classroom, his arms cross in front of him causing his muscles to strain against his shirt.

You smirk, “how I manage to get anything done when you plague my thoughts 24/7 is beyond me.”

Charlie chuckles at this assuming you’re joking and enters the room, approaching you at your desk. You take this time to rack your eyes over his body, his shirt stretching deliciously over his torso, the top few buttons undone allowing you to scan his neck and collar bone. Merlin how you wish you could sink your teeth into his creamy skin-

You cough to shake yourself of this thought, no boys, no distractions.

“What can I do for you Professor?” you muse, straightening up the long-forgotten essays.

If Charlie noticed you hungrily scanning his body moments before, he doesn’t comment on it. “Oh nothing really, was walking around and had the strong urge to come visit my favourite professor.”

You blush before he continues, “Snape was busy though so thought you were the next best thing.” He’s smirking at you now and you scoff rolling your eyes.

“Ha-ha,” you say sarcastically, “well as you can see, I’m insanely busy grading these essays so can’t say it would be much fun if you stayed.” You pick up an essay from the pile and furrow your eyebrows hoping it looks like you’re deep in thought when really you’ve re-read the same sentence 3 times, still not comprehending what it says.

“I can think of ways we can have fun,” Charlie’s low voice sounds from right next to your ear. How did he get there so fast? “none of which involve boring essays.”

You gulp and turn your head. He’s leaning over your shoulder, invading your personal space, one of his powerful arms is braced against the dark wood of your desk. You can feel Charlie’s soft breath fanning your face and you shudder. You can’t think of anything to say right now, Charlie’s rich scent is swarming your senses and any thoughts that do manage to form inside our brain are not appropriate to say out loud.

Charlie’s eyes glance down at your lips, your tongue darting out to wet them instinctively, he’s unsure if you are aware of the effect you have on him. Such a simple innocent move of licking your lips has Charlie growing hard. He leans closer to you, wanting you to give him the go ahead to continue, as you part your lips Charlie’s certain you’re about to tell him to kiss you.

“The doors open,” you squeak, suddenly very aware of this compromising position and not really eager on an unsuspecting student waltzing past and seeing this scene. You know you should ask Charlie to leave, you have essays to grade and a ‘no boys, no distractions’ rule to follow but Charlie is so close you can almost taste him.

He grins smugly, pointing his wand at your classroom door which slams shut and you can hear the lock click, he whispers a silencing charm too which has your heart beating faster in your chest. Are you really about to do this? Charlie looks down at you waiting for your next move. It feels like eternity before you make your decision, is it the right one, you’re not sure but you’ve dreamt about Charlie’s lips for too long to turn them down now.

In a flash, you connect your lips together, it’s rushed and messy but neither of you seem to mind. You can feel Charlie’s hands all over your body, he’s unbuttoning your shirt and squeezing your hips and arse and pulling you closer and palming your tits and it’s heaven. His lips find their home against your neck and you gasp as his nips and sucks at your skin. Somehow, you’ve change positions and Charlie has you pressed hard against your desk and you can feel his cock hardening in his pants.

“Fuck, want you so bad darling,” he growls into your ear. You tug roughly at his hair forcing his eyes to meet yours. His are dark with desire and you have to force yourself not to come right then and there.

“Then have me,” you respond.

The both of you waste no time, very aware of the fact that you don’t have the luxury of taking your time right now. You’re pulling off each other’s clothes and clawing at skin and leaving scratches and love bites and groaning and whining. Charlie hoists you onto your desk, pushing aside any papers and quills in his way. He wishes he had more time because the desire to kiss along every inch of your beautiful body and explore every freckle or birthmark or scar you have, is so strong. But he just prays you’ll give him another opportunity to do just that, because right now he needs to be inside of you.

Charlie is standing in between your open legs as he takes his fingers and runs them along your slick folds. “Fuck baby, so wet for me huh?”

The sarcastic comment disappears from your mouth as Charlie pushes 2 of his long slender fingers inside your heat, you moan at the sensation. He quickly begins scissoring his fingers set on stretching you out as fast as he could. “F-fuck, Charlie. Feels so good.”

“Wait till you get my cock darling. I’ll have you screaming,” he teases.

You kiss his lips before responding cockily, “go on then.”

Charlie removes his fingers and you whine at the emptiness, “shh darling, I’ll feel you up soon enough. You want that? Want me to fill you up with my cock?”

You’re nodding desperately, “yes please Charlie, please need your cock so bad.”

He grins widely at you, “as you wish.” The both of you groan as he lines up his cock and pushes inside of you. None of your fantasies would have prepared you to how amazing it feels to have Charlie’s cock stretching you out like this. You wrap your legs around his waist as his starts to rock his hips into yours.

Charlie begins to snap his hips faster and faster finding a deliciously rough pace, you’re grateful for the silencing charm he casted because you wouldn’t be able to contain the moans otherwise.

“Holy fuck Charlie,” you whine against his lips letting yourself run your fingers all over his sweaty naked body before they find their home on his hard shoulders.

The groan that rolls out of Charlie’s mouth is borderline pornographic, “I know sweetheart, I know.”

Charlie can feel himself growing closer and closer to his climax and he’d be daft if he lets himself finish before you. Charlie reaches in between the both of you and his thumb connects with your clit, forcing a loud moan to erupt deep from your throat. Charlie starts rubbing tight circles against that bundle of nerves while nipping and sucking at the soft skin on your neck. He can feel you clenching tightly around him.

“S-so close,” you gasp as that familiar tightening sensation pools in your belly.

“Come for me darling, I got you,” Charlie responds, his free hand holding you firming against him as you come undone. His name dripping from your lips like a sweet poem. It only takes a few more thrusts until he’s groaning into your neck and releasing deep inside you, his load painting your walls. The two of you are panting heavily as you try and catch your breath. You chuckle quietly to yourself, enjoying the sensation of Charlie’s now soft cock still inside of you. So much for no boys no distractions.

~~~~~~~

imma start adding my taglist to blurbs too, so if you would like to be added/taken off just send me an ask (if your name is crossed out i couldnt tag you)

@hufflepuff5972 @inglourious-imagines @horrorxweasley @anxiousblanketqueen @dracoswhore007 @georgeweasleyswhre @pandaxnienke

[hohoz]

How RE Village (8) SOLVED almost every problem that I had with RE Series

Okay - a few weeks ago I made a post that was “The ones that suffer the most” where I showed and explained my main problems with Chris and Jill and the RE series in general 

RE 1 is my fav game of this series and probably one of my all time favs, I player every RE there is to be played except 4 (because I dislike Leon, sry) 

Recently, specially after 4, the franchise had a few problems, specially in writing/map design/lore 

Resident evil 5 for example (I love this game) but it has it flaws, Chris there is only driven by anger and action - Sheva is used as a tool for lore exposition and to be Chris’s new partner 

PLEASE: be aware that game at that generation didn’t have much lore - with some exceptions, like God of War 1 2 3 were a simply game with a simple lore, and the most recent GoW has evolved a little bit in the storytelling

Until we hit rock bottom in RE6 - I know a lot of people like this game, but this is only and action game, bad writing and generic stages. 

Chris there is so mistreated that makes me mad (if you want to read more about this go to my other post “the ones that suffer the most”)

Until RE7 appeared, Capcom had a new engine and they wanted to do a game that was more horror like - since RE is know for being a Survival horror game.

I liked 7 - some people complained about Ethan being without emotion and others complained about the mold, a few didn’t like the FEAR vibes from Eveline. 

I personally enjoyed the game, I thought RE series was going back on track, that game has it’s problems but it was really nice compared to what we had in 6.

After that game I had a conversation with my best friend and I said that I wanted a game that portrayed Umbrella’s fall since the only game that shows this is Umbrellas Chronicles (and that is most a resume of what happened)

And I said: “Bro, I wish that when they made that game, they could tie some mythological lore and human evolution before Umbrella - using Spencer, this would solve LOT OF STUFF and open new ways to handle this series”

and guess what - this happened in RE8 and kudos to the one writer that did that, i have my gratitude. 

RESIDENT EVIL 8 is probably one of the BEST RE games that we had IN YEARS

And I want to address all thing that I loved in this game and do some predictions to what will happen in the next games.

“WELL WELL IF IT ISN’T ETHAN WINTERS” (The Father of the year)

My father was not a great guy... really, so I want to be the best dad ever, I really want be like Ethan - a guy who is ready to sacrifice and fight every monster in the way to save my family. 

Ethan was a character that in RE7 was used to make us fell like that it was us in the Baker’s house, so that is why he didn’t had that much personality (in my opinion) but they changed that in RE8, here he has nice dialogues AND a diary 

He has one of the best story line in the whole REverse, a guy that did EVERYTHING in his power to save his daughter - and you saw that playing the game, every sentence line that he delivered, he tried to save others too and even tho Chris said to him stay put ... but he couldn’t, he had to go to the altar, he had to help Chris, he had to go forward and keep going, specially after having the tools to face Heisenberg. 

The plea from a father, that was his last wish, after he heard that Mia was alive he knew that someone had to stop that monster, he made a promise to his daughter “Daddy won’t let those weird fairy tale monsters get you” so he trusted Chris, to be the one that teaches his kid how to be brave and strong

I will not address Chris and Rose situation here because this is Ethans part and he deserves completely all the spotlight, his sacrifice was 100x times better than Steve (CV)/Piers(6)

My cheers to Ethan Winters - You have my respect !

Revelations -> RE8 

So leaks from earlier times said that RE8 sucked and Revelations 3 was amazing

Revelations FYI is know for using old tales in RE stories 

Revelations 1 - Dante’s Inferno 

Revelations 2 - Frans Kafka 

Revelations 3 - Dracula 

But since RE8 sucked, Capcom said to the REV3 team that they could make REV3 become RE8 and they accepted 

Revelations series is one of the best in the games, they handle Jill in a way that I love, Claire and even Barry - so they deserve all the spotlight for making this awesome game - you CLEARLY can see that they love this series and that they treat all the characters with the love that they deserve. 

Keeping that in mind, they are the same team that made Rev 2 and in REV 2 we have this file here 

So they had a plan for Jill and we can see that in RE8 - I will address that later but keep that in mind - this team cares for the old characters, they were the ones that brought Barry back to the games :V 

Chris Redfield 

This is a hard one, because he is my fav character and I usually have the most critics regard him, since I’ve expect a lot from Capcom 

In the latest games they made him kind dumb, only muscles type of guy and an alcoholic that let all the people in his surroundings die (RE5,RE6,Vendetta) 

RE6 treats him the WORST

But in RE8 he had an amazing part in the storyline, it was obvious that he wasn’t evil and they FIXED HIS EYE COLOR - FINALLY 

I still don’t like the model face that much but it’s way better than 7 - so I believe Capcom, I still feel that he need more jawline 

But let’s go to the most important thing - here he really feels like a squad leader and a veteran, he has his team but he is the one in the front line, he covers and ask for help when he needs, everything about his line delivery makes you feel like “Woah, this guy is a badass, he is not some stupid guy only driven by emotions”

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR FINALLY GETTING THIS RIGHT 

If you remember my post about the ones that suffer the most / Jill is also in that list and I will talk about her a little bit later but if my guess is right RE8 saved her character aswell

Another thing that I enjoyed here is the fact that he is kind of a mercenary / Neo Umbrella kind of guy, even tho he is one of the founders of the BSAA

So I will give you all my score to this game: 

9/10

I won’t give 10/10 because of some technical issues, the cursor lock didn’t work and mouse sensitivity was i dunno, not the best. 

RE8 and the future (PREDICTIONS)  - Jill Valentine, Chris Redfield, BSAA, Neo Umbrella, Ada Wong and Rosemary

First let’s look Rose

The first time I saw Rose all grown up - I thought to myself : She has the same problem as Eveline (age a lot faster than normal) 

But she also absorbed Miranda’s power since the metalicite (something like this) thought that she was a better host. - so maybe she will live longer or something because I doubt that they will do a 14 years time skip. 

This is not the same as Terra Save logo (Claire’s job) but it kind reminds me of it - her shoes appeared at least 3 times in this cut scene so maybe they are trying to show some hints with this 

She really reminds me of Jodie (Beyond two souls, a game where a girl has a lot of power and the gov uses her in missions and stuff, but she also is learning how to be her own person) 

Another thing here is that they don’t have a logo in this car, it really reminds me the car that Chris as using in RE8 

This supports the theory that Chris’s organization is dealing with her instead of the BSAA, the she is a hot headed girl and that she had a lot of powers. 

So here you can say that she is just a kid because she is a teenager, but what if she actually grows older really fast (like Eveline) maybe this is just 1 year later / 2 yrs later. (after RE8)

So this is the tricky part, this is Chris’s guard/soldier, someone that Chris trust to stand by her side, in my mind I do believe that Chris is kind of a father figure to her, so when this guys says this he is thinking about hot head Chris but she replies “Yeah” thinking about Ethan - (she has the mold memories, so she can actually remember Ethan’s memories) 

Now let’s look at this 

BSAA 

So in REV1 is hinted that BSAA is not the best organization in the world, but since our heroes work there we think that they are the good guys right ? 

In REV 2 (it’s important to remember that the team that created RE8 is the same from the REVELATIONS and they had this file here in REV2)

This email is from Jill and what does Jill have ? T-Virus 

Wesker is a different case since he was a project and she had the vaccine but this would make a lot of sense if they had this tests with Jill to get the T-Virus

If that is the case, they explained Jill’s absence in the main games, could even explain why Chris left BSAA and opened a new window to a lot of possibilities 

My Predictions: 

- Chris had trouble dealing with BSAA and Jill’s case, he wanted to get her out of there, maybe he removed her from there but that resulted in him being expelled from the force

-Jill may or may not know what they are doing with her blood, but she will have a huge part in the BOW used by BSAA 

-Chris is married to Jill (sorry- I had to place this here, in a perfect world he has two kids with her and they all love aunt Rose) 

-Chris will hopefully be a father figure to Rose and they will be in a game together since in the end they came to get her

-Rebecca is still involved in BSAA activities (leak from new REV3) if you consider Vendetta canon, she maybe the one that used Jill’s sample of blood to create the virus soldiers

-Barry maybe retired 

-I don’t think Leon will be in this game, but he will get his RE4 Rmk 

- I do believe RE9 will be release after Code veronica rmk and MAYBE they will do a game about Umbrella’s Fall (Chris and Jill in Europe against Red Queen and BOWs) 

But that is it, you can see a lot of elements from old RE games in RE8, they tried to do something really smart and the game felt amazing to play, that was something else and it’s been a while since a player a RE game that made me feel that way <3

[popopretty]

Storm Bringer Spoiler (7)

I am not sure if anyone has translated it yet but many people asked me about the relationship between Verlaine and Rimbaud so I hope these excerpts from Rimbaud’s memoirs will help. These are from two different parts of CODE;04 of the novel.

Please feel free to re-translate it if you want. Just understand that I do make mistakes because I don’t speak either Japanese or English as my first language. So sometimes I will change or update this translation without prior notices. 

Day xx

General Directorate for Special Services, Operations Department, Special Forces Group, Agent

Fine weather - Evening - Waning Moon

The mice are running, black in the gray of the evening.

A mouse lady is running, gray in the black of the darkness. 

I look at the moon, holding the pipe in my mouth. Doing nothing can be fun too. Let’s go when the fire from the pipe goes out. 

After I run, behind the dry sound of my shoes, there will be nothing but death and corpses and blood and aguish and misery.

Day xx

General Directorate for Special Services, Operations Department, Special Forces Group, Agent

Rainy day - Midnight - Waning Moon

I am writing this after crawling out of the rat hole. I am staying at a leaky inn. There is the sound of the rain leaking somewhere. The lamp on my bedside is too dark I can’t even see the bottle of wine on my desk clearly. This handwriting definitely looks bad too. But for the time being, it doesn’t matter. 

Because I want to write down what happened right away.

Until just two hours ago, I was in the secret cellar of the anti-government forced called “May of the Revolution”. It is all over. The outcomes are superb. In the eyes of the higher-ups. 

But for me, I can’t bring myself to think that the operation was a success.

When I stepped in, all the members were at the celler. And ultimately, “he” is dead.

I wrote “he” here because this organization only has one single member. 

The mastermind behind the anti-government movement is a skill user commonly known as “Faunus” (*TN: The original Japanese words is 牧神, which means the God of Shepherds. He is called Faunus in Roman mythology and Pan in Greek mythology. I just picked Faunus because I like the name). I fought him once. He was strong. On top of that, he has a secret weapon. He by himself has created a skilled artificial lifeform, the “Black No.12”. That’s a monster that can manipulate gravity at his will and nullify any physical attacks. “Faunus” used an instruction system to freely control that lifeform. 

But this time, our Intelligence Department has done an amazing job (how nice it would be if they could do that every time). They managed to figure out in advanced that the input of the instruction system could be done by letting the lifeform breathe in some kind of special metal powder. That’s why all I had to do was to destroy that metal powder generator.

Freed from the instructional system, “Black No.12″ regained his consciousness as though he had just been released from brainwashing and turned to attack his creator, “Faunus”. That was a chilling sight. With just a squeeze of “Black No.12″ ‘s palm, half of the facility was blown away, together with Faunus’ upper body.

After that, I carried the unconscious “Black No.12″ outside. Now he is sleeping in this cheap inn.

What will happen to him now? Will he be executed by the government?

It’s terribly cold. The fire from the fireplace feels so far away.

Day xx

General Directorate for Special Services, Operations Department, Special Forces Group, Agent

Bright day - Noon - Strong wind from the East

I am writing this wearing a thick coat, earmuffs, fur gloves and thermal underclothes.

I was talking to the liaison officer in the café earlier, and was told about “Black No. 12″ ‘s treatment. It was so unexpected that I had to ask again three times.

The government seems to consider “Black No. 12″  a valuable collaborator. Because as “Faunus” ‘s watchdog, the information about the anti-government network has been hammered into his head. We will train him, and make him a spy. And it seems that the education and supervision tasks have been left to me. 

Education? Me?

Can I really do such a thing?

I don’t have any connections with others because of this job. Because friends and families can become a spy’s weaknesses. Both my parents and my former lover thought that I had died in jail.

Can someone like me teach someone and guide them the way?

I don’t know. But what if I can?

Someone like me, who had thrown away his past and his name to be called by merely a code name, now can do something for someone else, for my country, and for my newly-born friend. The thought of that made me more excited than I could imagine.

My life, and my death probably won’t be passed on to the future generations. What will be given to me after my death will be nothing but a broken, nameless tombstone. But I am okay with that. As long as before I die, I can leave behind something for someone.

My first task is to give “Black No.12″ a new code name.

I have decided it already. Paul Verlaine.

The real name that my parents gave me long ago.

Paul. One day you will read this memoir and know the secret about yourself. I pray that that moment will be a time of blessing for you.

Day xx

General Directorate for Special Services, Operations Department, Special Forces Group, Agent

Cloudy sky - Midnight - Can’t see the moon

I can’t believe it. We have successfully deciphered the “Secret of the Gentle Forest”. The worst beast of all is sleeping there. That’s where Verlaine’s

(The page was torn from here, unreadable)

....

Day xx

General Directorate for Special Services, Operations Department, Special Forces Group, Agent

Fine weather - Before dawn - New moon

It’s the day before my infiltration mission into a military base of an enemy country, so I am leaving a slightly longer record today. There will be no support for that mission. No rear backup either. No collaborator from inside.

The target to be captured is a new type of skilled weapon. It takes the shape of a little boy, but is actually a disaster that has the power to destroy the world.

It’s a dangerous mission. I might not make it out alive.

But if there is anyone who can successfully carry out this mission to take the world’s disaster from the hand of the enemy country, it can’t be anyone other than me and my partner, Paul Verlaine.

I have been thinking about it for a long time. About what I can do for my reliable partner Verlaine. I couldn’t come up with an answer until yesterday.

I will celebrate his birthday.

Of course, he doesn’t have an exact birthday. But I considered yesterday his birthday. On the same day four years ago, Verlaine killed Faunus and gained his freedom.

I ordered a small pudding from a confectioner in Paris and headed to Verlaine’s hideout with a bottle of wine under my arm. Verlaine looked more doubtful than surprised. So I explained to him.

Celebrating one’s birthday implies a very simple fact. In other words, it carries the message that “the fact that you were born is worth celebrating”. No matter what anyone says, your birth has a value.

And then there is one thing that can’t be missed when celebrating a birthday. A birthday without it is like the night sky without the moon.

A birthday present.

What I gave him was a black hat.

A brimmed bowler hat. It is neither particularly expensive, nor something made by a famous hatter.

However, the cloth of the sweat-absorbing band that goes around the inside of the hat was made of a very special material.

A rainbow-colored metal made from 10% platinum, 10% titan, and gold as the central material of the rest. It carries “Faunus” ‘s skill.  It was the thing that was almost completed in his lab, but I modified it into the shape of a hat.

When you put your head inside, the cloth of the hat will serve as a coil, and  prevent the external instruction system from interfering with the mind. On the other hand, the instruction system can be controlled from the inside, or in other words, the will of the one who wears this hat.

If Verlaine has this black hat, he will be one step closer to becoming a “human with free will”.

His reaction was pretty strange. He was neither happy nor surprised. He just said “I will take it for now.” with his calm eyes. He didn’t say anything after that. We drank the wine, said good night to each other then parted.

Even now, after one day has passed, I still don’t know if that was the right thing to do. Verlaine’s eyes were freezing and as far as beyond the North Pole.

But we will know the answer soon.

Tomorrow, at the enemy’s base.

If it is for the sake of my partner, I will gladly conquer any hell.

As long as I have my God in the sky above, the bonds in my heart, and the future in my reach.

(This is the last sentence of the memoir. Nothing was written after this.)

....

[writing-in-april]

The Big Bluff

Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Summary: Spencer goes up against a professional poker player.

A/N: This is almost a purely self indulgent fic, once I had this idea I really really wanted to write it for myself. I wrote all of this today while sick so I’m proud of myself lmao. Also ‘the woman’ Is definitely inspired by Irene Adler. Thanks for letting me have the third person today @zhuzhubii (inside joke thanks to)and thanks to @imagining-in-the-margins who helped me figure out where the story was gonna go. Last day of my 500 follower celebration!! I did 7 fics in 7 days!! Thanks y’all so much for supporting me!!

Warnings: Smut, Fighting for dominance, Hand job, Spitting, Fingering, Choking - uhh should be it.

Masterlist Word count: 2.3k

The casino lights were bright as she walked in through the main entrance of the casino that was dripping in finery. She was a vision in red, dressed to the nines in a red dress that left little to the imagination. She was here to blow off some steam, though not in the way people would assume. The woman in red was a professional poker player, normally playing high stakes games that were also televised for people’s enjoyment. Usually people would try to escape what they did at work on the weekends, but not her as she rather enjoyed the adrenaline that pumped through her veins just as she was about to win.

A man sat across from her at the table she chose with fluffy brown hair that curled slightly and wearing clothes that didn’t fit with the overall aesthetic of everyone else there. She would have assumed normally that he was an amateur player, only here to blow off steam (Plus his money) for the weekend by playing poker and laying in bed with someone. There was something about his demeanor however the way he acted just subtly arrogant as he waited for the dealer to start, that told her that he was the one to watch during the game.

Sure enough after the first round he had won, the woman lost nothing in the hand as she had folded right when she realized she’d gotten a bad hand. Worry still had creeped up on her as she gazed at the man who looked more like a teacher’s assistant rather than a poker player, she couldn’t be seen to lose even if this wasn’t a high stakes game, she had a reputation to uphold. She could’ve left the table, gone to find some easier people to swindle, but the challenge to bring the mystery man down was too hard to ignore.

During the next round her eyes almost never left the stranger only looking down every so often at the cards she had been dealt. It got to the point in the game where everyone had folded besides her and the man, she had been raising the stakes too high for everyone else to be comfortable with participating even if they thought they had a good hand. The whole table sucked in a breath as she went all in with her bet, no one at the table seemed to be able to get a read on her, including the man who thought he was unbeatable.

“I fold.” A triumphant smirk came across her face while taking a celebratory gulp of the wine she had ordered as the man had finally admitted defeat, this was exactly the kind of adrenaline rush she had been searching for. The look on his face was pure rage, she got the sense that he hardly got angry probably because he hardly lost.

She raked in all the chips she had earned, but then decided to not show her winning hand. It was far more satisfying to her to see the frustration on everyone’s faces, to see them try to figure out her game. Was she bluffing or not?

Once she had cashed them in she left to go to her hotel in a cab that she had called until she saw the man waiting by the entrance waiting and stopped. He looked like he was waiting for someone rather impatiently by the way he was tapping his foot.

“Are you waiting for someone?”

“Yeah you.” He remarked rather simply, his foot still tapped impatiently clearly fed up with her even though the amount of words they had spoken to each other could be counted on two hands.

“Why are you looking for me?” She played the part of a coy woman perfectly, she knew exactly why he was looking for her. His cocky demeanor at the table had quickly given away to her that he rarely lost any hand that he was dealt, whether it was a bad one or not.

“How did you win? Were you bluffing? You must have been bluffing...Or you just got lucky...” His ranting would’ve been cute in any other circumstance, the fact that he had assumed what had gone down, that she was in fact only lucky or bluffing made her blood boil.

“How did you get away with card counting?” She countered back a little irritated that he had assumed that the only way she could win was if she was bluffing or getting lucky. He seemed caught off guard by her question, unable to comprehend how someone had caught him after mastering the subtle art of card counting over the years. Though she was irritated at him, she still wanted to know more about the man who looked more like a teacher's assistant than a poker player, even if she had beaten him it was still obvious that he was good at the game. “What’s your name?”

“Spencer.” His impatience was even worse now looking almost frantic at her slow pace in the conversation, he was more focused on her skills rather than her name.

“Well- Spencer it was nice to meet you, but I have to get going, better luck next time.” She wasn’t dumb, she knew he was going to follow her out to her cab, her real aim was to hopefully get him to come back to the hotel with her. She may have been looking for a poker game to release some tension, that had somewhat worked, however this game seemed far more fun.

“Please- I need to know.” His shouted out words had attracted the attention of a few casino goers who were not happy with the fact that a man was yelling right outside the doors of the casino. The little wave he gave as an apology before sprinting a little to get closer to her was cute, deepening her desire to take the man for a ride, maybe he wasn’t as much of a hot arrogant asshole that she thought.

“Why don’t you come with me if you want to find out.” She flashed him a coy smirk before ducking into the cab. The man she now knew as Spencer may be arrogant when it comes to his poker skills, but underneath it all she could tell there was a man that was intriguing. She wanted to get to know him beyond his card counting skills and possibly jump his bones. The fact that he was gorgeous did nothing but stoke the fire that he ignited during their heated conversation.

Spencer did take up her offer and got into the back seat with her. Though, whether he had caught onto the other game that they had started to play was still a mystery to her.

They had made it up to her room in the swanky hotel on the strip, being a professional did bring her in big money. The look in his eyes as he stood waiting near the door told her that he had definitely caught onto the game she had carefully set up for them. There was still a way to back out, to exit through the door where he came from, there was no chance in hell he was backing away from the woman he found infuriating but extremely gorgeous.

“You still haven’t given me your name.” The one thing that was holding him back, the fact that he still didn’t know her name. The name fell from her lips dripping with seduction, she was irresistible to him almost nothing could make him leave the room.

He surged forward to capture her lips with his own, he expected to gain dominance over the kiss swiftly though it was more difficult than he first expected. He was met with a pair of lips that wouldn’t let him gain access that he wanted, he tried to slip his tongue into her mouth but was quickly barred from entering.

She would not be giving up dominance easily.

“Condom?” He said breathlessly into my lips while she worked on the buttons of his shirt after I had hastily pushed his cardigan off and tossed it somewhere in the room.

“In my purse.” She released him to rummage through the purse that had dropped onto the floor in their haste. Once she had found what she was looking for she stood up to find Spencer sitting at the edge of the bed, belt now discarded with his slacks undone.

She moved to stand just slightly in front of him then pulled the straps of her red dress down until it pooled onto the floor. Their eyes were both blown with lust only focused on each other. She wasn’t wearing anything underneath besides a lace red thong to match the dress. Spencer was practically salivating at the sight of her only in heels and a thong, he was so distracted by it that he was caught off guard when she moved to straddle him while also pushing him to lay flat on his back.

Pulling his boxers down just enough she pulled his cock out, he was half hard at this point, she was already impressed with his size though she masked it with her practiced poker face.

“Now you’re going to sit back and look pretty while I have my way with you.” The anger on his face was prevalent in response to her words, the fight was taken away from him when she spit into her hand and started to jerk his length. Her hand moved up and down in a teasing manner not getting him even close to the edge, his moans caught up in his throat though one did escape in frustration after she had almost completely pulled away from him. Finally he had enough of her teasing, batting away her hand and flipping her over.

“Now it’s your turn to look pretty.” He pinned both of her hands above her head holding them together with one hand while the other dipped down to the apex of her thighs. At first he didn’t let her have anything she wanted, only running his fingers on her inner thighs and dancing his fingers right above her hole that was now absolutely dripping.

“Beg.” His voice was now harsh and biting, that did little to intimidate her and all it did was make her even wetter. She fought his grip with vigor not wanting to give into his demand.

“No, I won’t beg.” She said through gritted teeth, it had become much harder to finish her sentence when Spencer had unexpectedly curled his fingers inside of her, finding that perfect spot inside her faster than she had expected.

“You don’t want to beg fine, but don’t expect to cum.” The growl in frustration that came from her made Spencer pause just a little, long enough that she could retake control and flip him back over. A squeak fell from him clearly not expecting her to be able to take back control again and another noise came out from him, this time a broken moan, after she quickly put the condom down and she sunk down onto his length.

“I don’t beg for anyone.” She started at a rough pace, her anger came out in her movements as she undulated her hips with fury that Spencer had never experienced before in the bedroom. The moans falling from each of their lips would surely get her a complaint from her neighbors, neither of them could really care less as they both chased their release.

Spencer may have been on the bottom at this point, but he still had not submitted completely to her. His hands sat firmly on her hips, tight enough to create finger shaped bruises that she hoped would remain for the days after this tryst while he also thrusted with the same vigor as her bounces.

She wrapped her hands around his jaw pulling him up slightly to envelope him into a kiss full of teeth and tongue. As her hand slowly pulled away from him it made contact with the hollow of his throat, his breath hitched at the light contact and he gripped her hips a little harder. She hesitantly moved her hand to connect with his throat to lightly choke him, she may have wanted to dominate him, but she didn’t want to scare him off. He gave an approving grunt at her actions, starting to meet her thrusts even harder than he had before and moved his thumb to rub circles into her clit.

“Cum.” She ordered as soon as she sensed their coming releases. He wanted to fight her on the order, not wanting to give up what little dominance he still held, but his release was so close that he didn’t want to give it up. Their releases washed over them, Spencer first and then her not long after being shoved over the ledge after seeing how pretty he looked while cumming. She fell on top of him, limbs quite tired from her vigorous work.

As soon as she had caught her breath she enveloped Spencer in a long languid kiss that was much slower than any of their previous ones then getting up to meander with shaky legs her way to the bathroom in her hotel room to clean up. She slipped into a pair of her sexier pajamas, just in case Spencer was going to stay the night like she wanted.

“So will you tell me now if you were bluffing?” He quickly pounced the question onto me as soon as I emerged from the bathroom, he did seem a little less frustrated about the fact that he had lost, more like he genuinely wanted to know my process.

“Guess you’ll never know. It could take a long time to figure out our tells.” She feigned exhaustion with a sigh though the smirk on her face told Spencer what she really wanted. He was an expert on behavior after all.

“I've got time.”

[jamespotterthefirst]

Auld Lang Syne (Ethan x f!MC)

aka the fake NYE date

Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Word count: 3.5K (sorry) Warning: some language

Premise: Ethan pretends to be her date (yet again) for her family’s NYE party. Part II of  As Long as You Love Me So

Author’s Note: *gestures grandly* Look at all those chickens fanfic tropes. Thank you to @aestheticartsx​​ for pre-reading this mess! 

4:00 pm

Impossibly, he was there with her, in an over-embellished cabin in Vermont, staring at the bed as though it would sprout claws and teeth any minute now. For lack of anything else to say or do, Ethan cleared his throat rather loudly. 

“There's only one…”

“Yep,” she returned quickly, voice sounding strangled with barely controlled worry.

They had been in that exact situation before, not too long ago in Miami. Except when that happened, they had never kissed before. At that point, Ethan had no idea how her lush, warm lips would feel against his or how every swell and dip of her body would fit so perfectly under his touch. 

Ethan was convinced she was remembering that experience as vividly as he was. They had made it out of there with their dignity and professionalism in shreds. Now, they had somehow managed to stumble into an even worse scenario. 

Lilac finally tore her eyes away from the mattress and threw him a furtive but defeated look. 

“It makes sense, I guess. My cousins are not as old fashioned as our parents. They think we sleep together all the time.”

Ethan almost coughed, but thanks to acting skills he did not know he possessed, he managed to keep his face neutral. Desperately, he steered his mind away from thoughts of Lilac in bed with him and all the magnificent things they'd do. 

“I'll take the couch,” he managed, throwing his bag atop the plump cushions. The loud thud of its landing served as irrefutable finality to his statement. 

Now that he was here, he would get through the evening at her side, careful to keep his meticulously constructed guard up. After the festivities, that couch would be his only respite from the magnetic pull that always made itself known when he was near her. And in the morning, they would drive back to Boston, where he could focus his attention back on Naveen and the slight improvement of his case. 

Just one night. 

He just had to get through tonight and then he could go back to putting as much distance between them as possible.  

5:00

“You're kidding,” Lilac said, eyes trained on the sparkling silver fabric her cousin dangled before her. The bleak sunlight pouring from the window hit the dress and sent iridescent beams of color all about. 

Natalia all but shrieked with excitement, clutching the dress close to her. 

“You can't tell me he won't love it!” 

Lilac said nothing, examining the outfit and trying her best to figure out how so little fabric would amount to a whole dress. It looked to her more like a long, backless shirt than anything else. And typically, the garment would be just her style, particularly when trying upstage her horrible cousin Griselda at her own party. 

Today, however, she couldn't help but second guess everything. Her stomach bottomed out just at the thought of Ethan's eyes on her in that dress. 

As though reading her mind, Natalia grinned at her. 

“He loved that pink dress you were wearing at dinner the other night,” she said in a sing-song voice.

Lilac remained silent, fighting back the persistent need to ask for more detail. Natalia, however, did not need an invitation to offer it in a giddy rush. 

“He couldn't keep his eyes off you, Lilita,” she gushed. “The way he looked at you when you weren't looking…” She trailed off, as though words were not enough to properly describe the heated, stolen glances of that night. “God, you can just tell he lo—” 

At this, her cousin halted abruptly, throwing Lilac a sheepish look. There was no way for her cousin to know if they had said the words to one another yet in this made-up relationship.

A sharp, painful wave of longing settled in Lilac's stomach at the thought. What would it be like to hear Ethan Ramsey utter those words, striking blue eyes looking down at her as though she was the only person in the world? 

“Anyway,” Natalia tried again. “You can tell Dr. Ramsey was feeling that dress the other night. I bet I can guess what you did when you got home.”

Lilac sincerely doubted that unless Natalia knew she had been so mortified that night when she got to her apartment that she downed half a bottle of wine and stuffed her face with Sienna's brownies.  

“Fine,” Lilac agreed at last, taking the garment from her cousin. “I'll wear the dress.”

Natalia squealed her excitement and Lilac couldn't help but smile at her cousin's contagious joy. 

“I can't wait to see the stupid look on Griselda's face. She's been in an awful mood getting everything ready for tonight. When she sees you in this, arm in arm with your hot doctor, she'll have a conniption.”

6:00

The familiar burn from the liquid was a welcomed relief from the many thoughts plaguing him. They alternated between thoughts of Lilac and his concern for Naveen, despite the many texts from the latter assuring him he was fine. Now that he was alone, he was beginning to understand just how much of a mistake this had been. 

Ethan took another drink. Despite how much he disliked Lilac's pretentious cousin, he had to admit she kept the cabin's home bar stocked with exceptional scotch. 

“Glenmorangie,” a voice said from behind him. 

Ethan did not have to turn around to know it was Griselda, standing a few feet away as though summoned. 

“Eighteen year,” she continued, eyeing the glass in his hand. She paused, as though awaiting praise for her excellent taste. 

Ethan determinately offered none. 

Lilac's cousin sighed, moving closer to the bar. The clamor of her heels against the floor echoed around the cavernous space of the otherwise desolate living room. 

“I'm impressed, you know,” she said in a deliberately causal tone. She took the bottle of Glenmorangie and poured two fingers in a glass. “I didn't think you'd actually show.”

Unfazed, Ethan kept his eyes ahead and took another swig. “I can't imagine why.”

Griselda let out a low, humorless laugh. “See, I didn't think a world renowned doctor would be interested in acting for a whole weekend, all for the sake of a lowly intern.”

The words were delivered with unmistakable triumph, each of them striking Ethan like the ominous tolling of iron bells. 

With experienced impassiveness, he turned to face her. Griselda wore a victorious smirk, dark eyes glittering as she took in the expanse of his chest with unveiled interest. Her smile turned coy, concealed briefly by the crystal of her glass as she took a drink. 

When he glanced away wordlessly, she pressed on. 

“You can drop the act, Doctor Ramsey. I'm not an imbecile.” Her voice was a deadly whisper. “My pathetic little cousin would do anything to impress me. Even fake a relationship with her medical hero to fulfill her pitiful little fantasies.”

His fingers clutched his glass with such force that the decorative ridges dug into his skin almost painfully. 

“How she roped you into her juvenile scheme is beyond me.” She had gravitated a lot closer to Ethan. “Lucky for you, however, you are free to act as you please now that I know.”

He could see a blood-red nail moving closer to his hand on the counter. Ethan raised his scotch to his lips, his grip so tight on the glass now that his knuckles shone white. 

“I'd never fake a relationship in front of you,” he muttered at last, carefully choosing his words. 

This had the intended effect because Griselda perked up, intrigued. 

“And why is that?” 

Ethan set his glass on the counter, facing her full on. Summoning his most charming smile, the same one that had a visible effect on many recipients, he leaned in close. 

Griselda's breath hitched expectantly. 

And then, very carefully, so carefully that there would be no room for her to miss the words, he whispered—

“Because you're not that special.”

7:00 

With one last glance at her reflection and a sharp, shuddering exhale, Lilac trekked to the dining room where most of that night's guests were already congregated. Many pairs of eyes landed on her as she entered, the din of conversation ebbing slowly. 

Griselda, who was chatting with her work acquaintances, stopped mid-sentence as her eyes fell on Lilac, the faux pleasant smile falling from her expression at once. There was something different about the furious glare her cousin bore into her like a knife. It was unabashedly disdainful, even hateful. 

Lilac would have enjoyed it any other night but instead, she was far too busy scanning the crowd for—

“Dr. Ramsey, there you are,” exclaimed Natalia, eyes falling over Lilac's shoulder. 

Before she could swivel around, a pair of strong, warm arms enveloped her from behind. His hands rested at her hips and his intoxicating scent cast such a heady spell on Lilac that she was lucky his strong chest offered her support. She had no hope of getting any words out, least of all when he leaned down and whispered in her ear—

“New dress?” 

8:00

Ethan realized far too soon that the distracting silver dress was the least of his worries. Unsettled as he was, however, he would occasionally find his attention hopelessly caught on the tantalizing fabric and the way it adorned her figure perfectly. He wasn't blind after all. 

Lilac laughed at something Sebastian said. She was far more relaxed after a few drinks, laughing with ease in a way that made Ethan's pulse quicken. 

“I bet Doctor Ramsey would love to see those,” Sebastian said with a laugh of his own.

“See what?” 

“Some videos of young Lilita singing Selena songs at karaoke, complete with signature dance moves.” Sebastian accentuated the last two words with easy movements of his hips, gracefully spinning in a full circle. “Remember La Lavadora?”

Natalia laughed. “We used to tie up our shirts and pretend we were wearing her famous bustier.”

Just then, Ethan caught Griselda's eye from across the living room. Her dark eyes fell to the space that separated Ethan and Lilac where they stood, a satisfied smile starting to dawn on her face. 

With a sudden rush of determination, he cupped the small of her bare back and pulled her close, his blood fizzing at her proximity. Lilac jolted slightly, turning a surprised glance at him. 

“Is this okay?” he whispered in her ear. 

Lilac glanced at him through heavy lids, her eyes falling to his lips for the briefest of seconds. It was enough to make his pulse a roar in his ears. 

“Yes.”

As if on its own accord, his thumb traced lazy circles at her back. Blushing, Lilac parted her lips and looked at him so intently, Ethan was convinced she was two seconds away from dragging him into their shared bedroom. 

He would gladly let her.

“Get a room,” Sebastian teased, prompting Ethan to remember her cousins were still there. 

From across the room, Griselda scowled, downing her drink in one gulp. 

“Luckily they have one,” Natalia added with a laugh and a wink for Lilac. 

9:00

Griselda's undisguised hostility grew more tangible by the hour. Their dislike was no secret to anyone in the family, but even Natalia and Sebastian couldn't deny something was different today. So different in fact, that even her unsuspecting guests, who had no background on her family, started to notice. 

“What's up her ass?” Natalia joked over the music. 

Lilac shrugged and took another sip of her champagne, despite Ethan's constant reminders that the drink was pitiful. 

“You're getting drunk off of garbage, Rookie,” he commented from where he stood at her side. 

His hand rested on the curve of her waist, burning through the fabric. Lilac was convinced she was getting drunk off of him, his touch, and the way his eyes pierced through her with each glance. 

Natalia perked up at the nickname. “Rookie?” 

“His nickname for me,” Lilac explained. 

Natalia, looking a bit tipsy herself, cooed, “Aww! That's so cute!”

Luckily, she didn't ask for further explanation. Instead, Natalia moved to chat with a family friend, one Lilac was increasingly convinced she harbored a crush for. 

“Something's different,” she commented to Ethan quietly. “Ever since dinner, you've been… just… different.”

Instead of responding, Ethan's eyes scanned the crowd. 

“What's going on?” 

His eyes softened when they met hers. Gently, he leaned in to tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. He didn't move his hand away, the pad of his thumb tracing lazy lines along her cheekbone.

Lilac held her breath, too afraid that any movement might scare him away. Their faces were so close together, his eyes taking in every inch of her face, as though memorizing it. Until at last, they rested on her lips. 

“Ethan—” 

And then the blinding flash of a camera forced them to spring apart.

“Shit. Sorry. That was supposed to be without flash!” Natalia said. “It's a cute picture, though.”

10:00

Pretty green eyes made his blood warmer than any fine scotch ever could. He leaned in to whisper something that made her laugh and that made him drunker still, the sound making him feel weightless. 

Ethan's hand alternated from her waist, back, arms. His skin all but burned anywhere he touched her, white hot and electric. 

At some point throughout the night he had stopped checking if her cousin was watching. He no longer cared if she was buying the act. 

Not that he had been acting for a second anyway. Every touch, every whisper, every smile had been genuine. 

More genuine still was the urge to kiss her.

11:30

“Estúpida!” Natalia shrieked at Griselda, drawing the attention of most of the guests. She had jumped back to avoid the splash of red wine headed her way but she had not been fast enough. Her lovely champagne colored dress was ruined with an ugly splotch. 

“Sorry,” Griselda said, not sounding sorry at all. “If it makes you feel any better, it was an accident.”

Lilac doubted that very much. 

On second thought, spilling wine over Natalia had been an accident because the intended target had been Lilac. 

From beside her, Ethan sighed loudly, pulling her close. “Are you alright?” 

Before Lilac could offer any form of reply, Griselda let out an exaggerated coo at the sight of them. Keith, her boyfriend, lurked behind her, looking embarrassed and like he wanted to intervene but wasn't entirely sure how. 

“Gris, you're drunk,” he said, gently taking her elbow. 

Griselda purposely ignored him, eyes zeroed in on Lilac and Ethan. In the chaos of Natalia cursing up a storm and Sebastian looking around their immediate proximity for something to help her soak up the mess, Lilac could not properly study the unmasked disdain on her cousin's expression. All she saw were fierce dark eyes sinking into here's, glassed over from a full evening of drinking, and an unrelenting snarl. 

“Que hermosa pareja,” Griselda commented quite loudly. No one, not even those who didn't speak the language, could doubt the sarcasm dripping from every syllable. 

Lilac thought her cousin must be very intoxicated to allow her native language out so freely. 

“You two are almost…” Griselda trailed off deliberately. “...too good to be true.”

A horrible sense of dread sunk in her stomach like a stone. 

She knew. 

Her cousin's words, drunk and slurred as they were, insinuated that she knew about their fib. 

Panicked, Lilac glanced up at Ethan and was surprised to see him unfazed, as though the information was nothing new for him. 

“So happy for you, primita,” Griselda went on, swaying slightly on her feet. “If you do end up marrying this one, I must help you plan the wedding.”

A nasty surge of panic speared through Lilac, her pulse drumming chaotically at her ears. She could see Ethan's confused frown from the corner of her eye. 

“I got my hopes up with the last one,” Griselda continued, words accompanied by a dangerous smirk.

“Griselda, shut up,” Sebastian snapped furiously. 

“Until he cheated on you. What a shame that was.”

The room went dead silent. 

Lilac's throat constricted painfully and to her horror, her eyes stung with the threat of tears. Her breathing, which quickened dangerously, came out in chocked little gasps and it took every ounce of her strength to stifle them. 

“And then when you took him back and he cheated again, I just didn't—” 

SLAP

Lilac's palm had connected with her cousin's airbrushed face with a resounding crack. She didn't pause to see Griselda's shock dwindle into hatred, or to hear any of the words Ethan was saying. Furiously smearing away the tears that had finally spilled, she turned on her heel and ran. 

11:50

It was ten minutes before midnight when Ethan finally found her, a lone figure in the middle of the backyard's gazebo. She didn't move as he approached, eyes fixed on the dark outline of the forest beyond. 

It was a particularly clear night for winter in Vermont, the remnants of the last snowfall nothing but grey sludge on the ground. Still, the biting chill of the night whipped against their skin and the only thing protecting her was a flimsy fleece throw blanket. 

Without a word, he removed his suit's jacket and draped it over her shoulders. Lilac merely looked at the fabric and let out a small humorless laugh. 

“Back to where we started,” she muttered. 

It dawned on him that he had done the very same thing the night this whole fantasy started. 

After a short, peaceful pause, Ethan opened his mouth to offer some kind of comfort. Before the words could leave him, however, she stood up from her seat on the bench with a renewed sense of purpose. 

“Let's get the hell out of here.”

Ethan nodded once. “We can go back to the room—” 

But Lilac was shaking her head. “Back to Boston.”

A beat. 

“Rookie, that's crazy.”

“No, what's crazy is this whole stupid scheme. Pretending to date? Who does that?” Her voice flared briefly with her temper, only realizing this belatedly. She looked away from Ethan. 

Ethan remained silent, giving her as much time as she needed. After a minute, she exhaled sharply and met his eye again. “I'm really sorry I dragged you into this.”

Ethan wasn't sorry at all. He dismissed the apology with a wave of his hand.

More silence. 

Lilac leaned against a wooden beam and let out another ironic laugh. “The funny thing is it didn't even work.”

“It worked.” 

At his side, his hands flexed instinctively, yearning to touch her just like he had all night. There was no question in his mind that everyone, including Griselda, was convinced of his feelings for Lilac. 

Lilac, meanwhile, sent him a questioning look and his pulse accelerated at the mere thought of telling her just that. 

“That's why she lashed out,” he said instead.

She nodded once, deep in thought. 

The way her shoulders pinched with tension and the slight quiver of her lips left no doubt that she was recalling Griselda's lashing words. And though Ethan was insurmountably curious, he refrained from asking. 

“Earlier,” he started quietly. “She confronted me about this being an act.”

Her head snapped to look at him. After a few seconds, understanding dawned on her beautiful, moonlit face. 

“That's why you…” she trailed off, looking slightly embarrassed. “That's why you put on a hell of a show.”

They could hear the swelling of voices from inside the cabin. Someone inside announced there were only their seconds left until midnight. 

Neither of them looked away from one another. Ethan's eyes descended to her petal pink lips and then back to her eyes. 

“It wasn't for show.”

Her breath hitched. 

“Lilac, you already know that I—” 

In the distance, the party-goers began their countdown. 

“Ten!” 

His hand found the dip of her waist, as though magnetized. 

“Nine!” 

Eyes never leaving hers, he pulled her closer to him.

“Eight!”

“Ethan,” she whispered. A plea and the sweetest sound he had ever heard. 

“Seven!”

Their bodies were pressed so close together, he wondered if she could feel the way his thunderous heart beat for her. 

“Six!” 

Lilac's perfume caressed his senses as her delicate hands clung to his shoulders. 

“Five!” 

“Lilac,” he murmured, sounding agonized to his own ears. 

“Four!” 

Her hand moved to cradle his jaw and Ethan briefly closed his eyes. 

“Three!” 

Delicate fingers danced along the planes of his face with a featherlight touch. 

“Two!”

Ethan basked in her touch, convinced there was nothing better. 

Nothing except—

“One!”

And he kissed her at last. 

Translations:

La Lavadora : “The Washer Machine”/ a dance move

“Estúpida!” : Stupid bitch

“Que hermosa pareja,” : What a beautiful couple

Primita: little cousin

Author’s Note: Ah! So there will definitely be a part 3. However, I still haven’t decided if I will work on that first or on the next Picta chapter. It depends what this volatile inspiration of mine decides!

Thank you so much for reading this!

And thank you so much to everyone who put up with me, my blog, and my writing this year. Your support means everything. Seriously, writing is one of my greatest joys. Before truly immersing myself in this fandom, I thought I’d never write again because of work and other responsibilities. 

Thank you everyone for giving me this gift back.

Happy New Year, my loves! I wish everyone success, happiness, and excellent health. Now, let’s all quietly walk into 2021 and not touch anything. 

Tags: @openheart12​​ , @takeharryandgo​​ , @trappedinfanfiction​​, @aestheticartsx​​, @aworldoffandoms​​, @paulfwesley​​, @myusualnerdyself​​,  @rookie-ramsey​​, @ohchoices​​,  @enmchoices​​, @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​​, @choicesfanaf​​, @openheartthot​​, @octobereighth​​, @nazarihoe​​, @utterlyinevitable​​, @kites-in-our-skies​​, @maurine07​​, @schnitzelbutterfingers​​, @doilooklikeiknow​​, @snesdudes​​, @kingliam2019​​, @perriewinklenerdie​​, @cinnamonspongecake​​, , @queencarb​​, @ethxnrxmsey​​, @missmiimiie​​, @jens-diamondchoices​​, @adamsdumortain​​, @apphia12​​, @kalogh​​, @lucy-268​​, @binny1985​​, @queenbirbs​​, @honeyandsunfl0wers​​, @newcolonies​​, @lilyvalentine​​, @rigatonireid​​, @interobanginyourmom​​, @parkerattano​​, @custaroonie​​, @nikki-2406​, @lilypills​​, @chasingrobbie​​, @nooruleman​​,  @lonely-mxxnlight​​, @ruinedbypixels​​, @shadynaturehilariouscookie​​, @tsrookie​​, @mvalentine​​, @professorkingslay​​, @drakewalkerfantasy​​, @casey-v​​, @helloblueeyedcat​​, @mysticaurathings​​, @blossomanarchy​​, @thegreentwin​​, @togetherwearerapture​​, @rookieoh​​,  @rookiemarsswiftie​​, @natashajaniphilchoices​​, @mysticalgalaxysstuff​​, @hatescapsicum​​, @choices-lurker​​, @kiara-36​​, @junehiratas​​, @danijimenezv​​, @macy-ray85​​, @adrex04​​, @canigetanawwjunk​​, @sanchita012​​, @overwhelminglyaquarius​​ , @scorpiochick8​​, @skylarklyon​​, @starrystarrytrouble​​, @mercury84choices​​, @drariellevalentine​​, @ethanrcmsey​​,  @aarisa-frost​​,  @udishaman​​, @a-crepusculo​​, @quacksonlover​​, @caroldxnvxrs​​, @ramseyandrys​​, @whatchique​​​, @varikasnuori​​, @dimitriwife​​​, @genevievemd​​​, @shanzay44​​​, @fabi-en-ciel​​​, @trebondialanna​​​, @lady-calypso​​​, @ashiiknees​​​, @dr-ramseys-rookie​​​, @stygianflood​​​, @bellcat2010​​​, @iemcpbchoices​​​,  @bellcat2010​, @iemcpbchoices​, @gryffindordaughterofathena​, @alookseeblog​, @whimsicallywayward15​

@emotionalswift2,  @lion-ess24, @lovingramsey​

[doctormomwriter]

Smokin' pt 1

Samoa Joe x OC Rebekah Gates

Rebekah is a fan favorite baby face in AEW. She gets roped into a podcast on Colt Cabana's show and in a rapid fire game of 20 Questions she drunkenly admits her crush on Samoa Joe.

Warnings: Smut, choas, embarassment, fluff (if fluff should be a warning?)

Colt leaned in to his microphone and sipped his beer. I was on my 4th beer and swaying in my seat as we happily discussed wrestling, former hobbies, child hood stories, and an advertisement or two.

"Alright guys, the moment you have been waiting for. We promised it and you shall receive. Twenty Questions with THE Rebekah Gates. I pulled the first 50 tweets in response and put them in this hat and we will draw 20 of em! You ready?" Colt motioned over for me to speak into my mic.

"Not in the slightest." I giggled.

"Question number one comes from @baconbits_ If you had to choose, would you rather shave your head or dye your hair pink?" He seemed unimpressed about the question.

"Dye it pink, I have before, its ugly though." I open the 5th beer loudly.

"Question two is from @iamcarl what color underwear are you wearing?" He was stone faced at this point.

"Yall need better questions. Black or yeah black." I was nearing the end of the beer. Swaying in my chair and giggling in between questions.

This was my first time on a podcast and I was really grateful Colt wanted me to be here. I had gotten to know a lot of people the last 6 months here and everyone was welcoming. This was really the first time I let loose though. I do not usually drink anymore simply because I lose any filter I normally would have.

"We are nearing the end of this and how Rebekah is still making sentences after 7 beers is beyond me." Colt opened another drink.

"Three more questions. Then nap time." I put my head down on the desk. Lifting my hand shakily into a thumbs up.

"Question 18 is from @nanabatma What's your favourite swear word?"

"It's definitely the F word. I can say it in 6 different languages and it all hits the same." I smiled.

"Question 19 from @basszero who is your wrestling crush?"

"Samoa Joe. NEXT!" I was starting to feel woosey.

Colt looked over at me and his eyes widened.

"I would have NEVER guessed that. We have to pause here. How long?" He was way too intrigued for my liking.

"I don't know... since I was like 15 and he was in TNA. It's one of the celebrity crush things though like it isnt going to happen but you always have that crush. It's no different than liking a backstreet boy in your 30's... well I mean, I'm not 30 yet BUT STILL." I blurted out and laughed myself to tears. I was so defensive over that crush.

"I am just stunned and you are about to be too because our returning guest on the show tonight is none other than Samoa Joe and he is here to read your last question." Colt was dying laughing. I was bright red.

Play it cool Rebekah, if anything, I can play the drunk card. Right? Oh god I was sobering up via embarassment. Joe sat next to me. He was in some tighter fitting khaki pants with a dark grey polo on. He was all cleaned up with a fresh haircut and smelled like cigars and wood and I hated how red I was turning. It dawned on me that he was in the back and did not hear my admitting of the crush. Colt looked at him and then back and me and fell into the floor laughing.

"I swear to god I did not plan this! I swear!" He laughed some more.

"What is he talking about?" Joe was confused and I thanked the gods for his oblivion.

"One of my questions... it's uhm... it is a long story." I whispered.

"Oh okay..gotcha. It is so nice to finally meet you, I haven't gotten to speak to you since my debut and I am so happy to meet THE Rebekah Gates." He put a hand on my shoulder and lightly squeezed. I nearly passed out from the touch.

"Joe... okay you guys, I am better." Colt caught his breath. "Joe, would you please pull the final question and then we will cut to commercial!" I hated this was a live recording.. no going back now. Colt handed Joe the hat.

"Alright..... final question. This is from @theyoungbutts....wow what a name. Out of all the people in this room, if you had to kiss one person who would it be?" He did the gentlemen's leg cross and looked at me. Before I could answer Colt died laughing again. At this point it was contagious and we were all laughing so hard tears rolled down our rosey cheeks.

"Someone please tell me what is so funny!!" Joe wanted in on the joke so bad.

Part two coming soon!

[shinyfire-0]

Fanfic Writer’s 20 Questions!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

Ten

2) What's your total AO3 word count?

139014

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Three fandoms; BBC Sherlock, Phantom of the Opera, What We Do In The Shadows

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Pour like the rain

Tercet

Andrew Lloyd Webber and the Masturbatory Phantasy (ffs)

Legion

The Others

5) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to all the comments because I love them. I am always so pleased that people take the time to comment on my efforts. Over the past year or so I have met some fabulous people through big chats in the comment sections of their fics and mine. I feel like it is such a lovely reward to have someone take the time to comment that I want to thank them!

6) What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

The angstiest ending is in a fierce inequality of love. And it’s only angsty because it is my exploration of the canon Erik/Christine relationship - which is angsty and unhappy. I wrote this over twenty years ago and it was HATED at the time and that still makes me laugh.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?

I do write crossovers. I never ever thought I would until I watched What We Do In The Shadows and decided that Nandor could have been the mystery Persian. Instead of Erik going off and dying in the basement of the Opera House after all the chaos he caused with Christine, Nandor turned him into a vampire and they’ve been immortal boyfriends ever since.

What Erik and Nandor Do In The Shadows

They even have almost indescribable fanart by @paperandsong:

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

No, not directly

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do, luckily for the world, the universe and everyone. It is entirely vanilla

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Sort of, for about half an hour

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, but I often work closely with two lovely friends (@paperandsong and @aphaea21) who are kind enough to beta read and edit my efforts. They are amazingly helpful and improve my writing no end

13) What's your all-time favourite ship?

It’s not really a ship but a dynamic. I like a clever, brilliant, angsty, on-edge person paired with someone who keeps them from going off the rails, but who also REALLY gets them and appreciates them. In the PotO fandom, for me, that’s Erik/Nadir (or the Persian/Daroga).

But, obviously, I like Erik/Christine as well.

Gawd, anyone who seems to like Erik back is my favourite!

14) What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

I have abandoned WIPs that I am not capable of finishing because I realised the idea was beyond me in terms of time and skill.

15) What are your writing weaknesses?

Too many commas, long sentences, too many descriptive words, Word Of The Day. I am a new writer and I am still trying to find my ‘voice’ haha.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I have written one or two lines in French to try give the impression that the person listening to it in the story might not understand what’s being said. But beyond that I am not confident enough in another language to write dialogue in anything other than English.

18) What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Phantom of the Opera!

19) What's your favorite fic you've written?

Pour like the rain, my strange baby. I wrote it after 15 years away from the fandom. I started reading poto fic again in March 2020 when everything closed down. I began to read a lot of pharoga which wasn’t around much when I was last reading fic in the mid-2000s. I found that these fics really resonated with how my ideas about Erik had developed. So it is almost like a fanfic of fanfics, almost like a piece of original fiction, because it strays so far from canon. It’s also really personal (!!) But in the end it’s a big ol’ story about the power of love to profoundly change the course of a person’s life. And I can’t help liking that.

Here is a picture Rosa Bonheur's The Paris Horse Fair. I like it because I have Erik and Nadir go to this very horse fair to buy horses (what else?!) and it was painted at about the same time that I set pltr (1852).

20) Who do you tag?

@catcorsair @helloitskrispy @bluemasque86 @real-hidden @phandompenny @illuminaughti-online @artaline @lonesparkthefriendlykraken @nxoivar pressure though! <3